Try to get the 8-track from playing in your head OK? You are right, responding back, getting things off your chest will do NO good. You ARE the better person for not responding with hurtful things back to him. My XAP was a very, very toxic man and I can't even believe some of the conversations we had. Sometimes I would give it right back to him, sometimes I found myself trying with all my might to get him to just stop his insanity. If you need to get things off your chest, do it here, or go for a walk in the woods and get it out for the trees to hear.
You are not alone - we are ALL here for you and we all know what you are going through. Be kind to yourself. Find things to keep you busy. Read here all you can, it really helps when you are feeling down to know we've all BTDT.
Thank you for support. I survived the weekend with NC. It was hard. I was home in bed most of the weekend. I've been really down. My 12 year old asked me on Friday night why I was so sad and frustrated and that "he wished I was happy like I once was". It broke my heart! but I honestly don't remember the last time I felt truly happy. I was unhappy in my marriage way before the A. I wish I could just be alone but I don't want to throw away 21 years of marriage. I read in one of the boards that my A was keeping my marriage together. Do you think that's true? Thank you all so much for your support. Ln
Hey Lun I am very much glad you are feeling better! Every day a new step, and a new chance and getting back the Breath we punched out of our own lungs.
Dont be sorry for "dumping", that is for sure one brilliant part of this place...that there are so many wonderful people who wield giant shovels to help dig you out.
Its great you spent time with the kids. Focus on them for now if you have to. Believe me, as much as I know this experience would have been hard on them, I wished I had kids to help me refocus my back to the fun loving, care-free, happy individual that I know I am!
Be well, Peace&Light Foggy
I do not know what is next in life...but at least I know what is NOT!
Hi Lun, welcome btw. I have to say I concur with all the other posters here when they say run from him. The red flag for me reading this was how he still has NOT filed for divorce from his wife and still has connections with her (bank account). How are things with your H? I think you deserve much better than what you are getting right now hon.
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Hi Lun 7 :)
I believe people like this are always looking for a soft place to land.
I am haunted by things I should have said in our last conversation.... The day before
((((Lun)))))
Try to get the 8-track from playing in your head OK? You are right, responding back, getting things off your chest will do NO good. You ARE the better person for not responding with hurtful things back to him. My XAP was a very, very toxic man and I can't even believe some of the conversations we had. Sometimes I would give it right back to him, sometimes I found myself trying with all my might to get him to just stop his insanity. If you need to get things off your chest, do it here, or go for a walk in the woods and get it out for the trees to hear.
You are not alone - we are ALL here for you and we all know what you are going through. Be kind to yourself. Find things to keep you busy. Read here all you can, it really helps when you are feeling down to know we've all BTDT.
Thinking of you :)
Bodhi
Thank you Bodhi2010.
As you begin to read more and spend more time here,
Hey Lun
I am very much glad you are feeling better! Every day a new step, and a new chance and getting back the Breath we punched out of our own lungs.
Dont be sorry for "dumping", that is for sure one brilliant part of this place...that there are so many wonderful people who wield giant shovels to help dig you out.
Its great you spent time with the kids. Focus on them for now if you have to. Believe me, as much as I know this experience would have been hard on them, I wished I had kids to help me refocus my back to the fun loving, care-free, happy individual that I know I am!
Be well,
Peace&Light
Foggy
Hi Clarity:
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