~~Ending an Affair Support~~
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~~Ending an Affair Support~~
| Fri, 11-12-2004 - 3:30pm |
I do believe it ended today 11/12/2004. This time, I got to say the, "Goodbye." I saw him today and ended it with a kiss, good-bye. Yeah, that's it, It is truly over....He was not happy that he didn't get to sleep with me. Hey, it was hard to say no to one night of passion, but I'm proud to say, I did. Not a good day for me, but life goes on right? I appreciate if anyone can give any encouraging words. I feel down to the dumps. What happens now? :*o(

It's hard. You'll cry a lot. You'll miss him. Something good -- or bad -- will happen in your life and you'll have the incredible urge to grab the phone and call him. You'll hear a song and the memories come back. There are still days that I can't listen to the songs but days I can and it's not painful most days. I realized recently that I don't think of him first thing when I wake up anymore -- that's a huge milestone. And my marriage is on good, solid ground. And the other day, I hugged my H and said "I love you so much" and meant it with all my heart -- ALL my heart. Not the whole heart except for that hole that has been there for 18 months.
It does get better but remember it's not fast. And you're not in control of the process -- as much as you'd like to be. I told my T one day, I just want him out of my head and heart so it doesn't hurt anymore and she said - this is God's way of showing you that you don't control everything. Time does heal....promise.
Be strong.
Hello Bethstrong and thanks for checking in on the board and sharing how it is for you now many months later. I remember your posts from when you were ending your affair and your turmoil then. Glad to read you're doing so well....
And, shiningstar, please re-read Beth's post to you. It's a path that will most likely occur for you, too. I believe that having had actual mutual closure to your affair will help you heal sooner. No open ended, unanswered questions. A rational end to an irrational relationship.
Post as often as you need to thrash out any remaining feelings or issues you wish to address. However, remain in your NC mode or "ended" mode if NC is not an option.
You will heal.......
BTDT,
cl-nre
I'm glad to hear things are going well for you now. I am ever so thankful to come to
this website to get the emotional encouragement that I need right now.
My husband of 16 yrs just passed away in April, he was really sick for 9 of those years.
I feel that I still harbor a lot of resentment towards him and am in counseling now. Back last September, I started working with a Professional Photographer, he and I were not attracted to each other until we actually began getting to know one another. We became really good friends and I leaned/depended on him for my emotional support through
my husbands illness. There were a lot of emails that passed between us (we also worked together at our fulltime jobs). Eventually, I wound up sleeping with him one night before my husband passed away. After my husband passed away things just kinda picked up
naturally where we left off. There was a lot of love and passion in our relationship and he eventually asked me to marry him and I said yes. There were some things that happened and I eventually broke it off or tried to anyway. We still tried to be friends and that's where things picked up again. 4 weeks ago, we really broke it off. I hurt him, unintentionally but anyway. He would not speak to me and I felt so consumed by all of this. Finally, Friday I wrote him an email to clear the air. It seemed like it worked
and we would at least be able to say hello! Sunday, accidentally we wound up being at the same park, I was with my son and he was doing a photo shoot. I didn't know he was going to be there and made sure to tell him I wasn't following him. He didn't even stop to say hello to us when he saw us there. It hurt my sons feelings as well as mine considering we were trying to bury the hatchet and I emailed him and told him he did. He said he didn't have even a minute to spare. Kinda sad huh? I emailed back and told him that he didn't owe me anything but he did hurt my son. No response, he chose to ignore it. I came into work this morning and we were face to face in the hallway. He made a comment and someone stopped him to talk, he never got to finish what he was going to say to me. I passed him on my way out, he smiled at me and I smiled back! I'm done with this. I honestly thought we could be cordial. He's not the man I thought he was!
This hurts intensely! I'm ready to move on though and stop hurting! Something so stupid and trivial meant so much to me and my son. He's not worth my son's admiration nor mine. I don't want to be bitter. I just want the hurting to end.
SusieCutie
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