Ending after 4 years seems impossible

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2006
Ending after 4 years seems impossible
13
Thu, 05-06-2010 - 11:14pm

I have been having an affair for 4 years.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2009
Sun, 05-09-2010 - 11:01pm

opps. I posted in haste. I'll try again tomorrow.
xo
Dee




Edited 5/10/2010 1:57 am ET by deeulta
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-10-2010
Mon, 05-10-2010 - 2:59pm

I am writing this from the point of view of your AP. I am the married one with kids who is in love with a single guy. All those things you described...I feel the exact same way..all the good feelings...it's the best high ever. Then, it is countered by the "low", and omg, what a low it is.


I told my husband about A and he is living with a friend for a few days, wants to reconcile soon. Let me tell you this, though. I think about my AP *allllll* the time, want more than anything to be with him forever. But I am choosing my kids and husband. How can this be? I just have to do the right thing.


I guess what I am trying to say is that he probably loves you and wants to be with you, but is caught in the middle like I am.


Love and peace to you, my dear~~~

~~Serenity~~


Better than a thousand hollow words is one word that brings peace. ---Buddha

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2010
Mon, 05-10-2010 - 5:04pm


MWS,

I do not think any of us can say what MM is thinking. Even if we are a MW with a SG. Be careful what you listen to. I can not speak for your AP. But based on the info you have provided, you need to walk away from this. Leave him completely alone. Do not hold out for anything and do your best to maintain NC and move on. I do not care if he loves you and you love him. It does not matter. He has a wife and you are not her and he is not for you.

Simple to move on? No. Doable? Yes. I was going to respond to your post but Dee handled it well. You really need to stay out of ANY relationship with anyone except yourself right now. You have some real work to do to get you together. I know it, because I have been like you. I think your worth the time that it takes for me to write this post because you obviously trying to do right by coming here. But your posts tell me you need to really take some time and look at your life and your actions and try to get on the right track, you have come to the right place to do so. Let us help you. Listen to what we offer. Be leary of anyone remotely encouraging you to think of AP. You need to be focusing on you. Seriously.

My best to you,

Luvin

Luvin
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida

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