The ending to my 31st.
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| Sat, 01-01-2005 - 7:32pm |
Hello Everyone, I have not posted about myself in a while, only because I HAD been doing so well. I have been lurking and consoling others and now I feel I need your strengths again.
Yesterday I was at the supermarket getting my groceries in the supermarket near an area he works in and near my sisters home who I had just been to. Went to the deli toorder a sandwich for lunch and while I was waiting for them to attend me, someone stood behind me and said Hello beautiful. I recognized the voice immediately and my heart started pounding I got so nervous. What are the odds that I would run in to him on the last day of the year, I have been to that supermarket so many times and never ever have I ran into him. It has been such a long time since I had spoken to him or seen him. When I turned around he kissed my cheek and hugged me, I teared up and he realized it , said he was sorry. For those who dont know my story we broke things off unwillingly. We did not want to but for both our sakes it needed to be done. Our affair lasted 3.5 years, I think that it still would be ongoing if we would not of paniked and broke things off. He was always the perfect person with me and he felt very much the same with me.
I cant begin to describe all the feelings I was feeling for him. I realized I still love him. He asked me yesterday when he walked me to my car, yes he actually finished grocery shopping with me and we spoke for a while. He asked me if we could try to work things out again, that he had been missing me and wanted me back in his life again. I thought I would die, I was speechless and I just did not respond to him. I just wished him a happy new year and kissed him on the cheek got in my car and left. He immediately called my cell phone but I did not answer it.
I want to call him so bad and tell him Yes. I am so confused and I cryed my heart out yesterday. Last nite when I was with Hubby and family I felt an enourmous amount of guilt.
Someone please explain why these things hurt so much. I thought I was passed this. How could the last day of the year have turned out to be one of my worst when I was so looking forward to a perfect day with just family and friends. I feel like the worst person on earth right now. I think what has really devastated me the most is to know he still wants me, all this time I was so sure he had forgotten me. PLEASE HELP ME ....

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UPSIDE it is so good to hear from you.
I am sorry you are still hurting. You need to try to solve your emotions and move on. I wish I had the words of wisdom to help you, but we both know it takes time. As you can see my dilema from Friday. You think it's over and it creeps up on you out of the blue.
Hang in there hunny, I will be routing for you 110%
Take Care
Ladybug
Thank You. I dont feel like a rock though. I felt horrible but one thing for sure I do know what I want. PEACE..... Lots of it..
Take Care.
Ladybug
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