envious feelings
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envious feelings
| Sun, 05-22-2005 - 3:23pm |
Does anyone ever find that they are feeling envious of XAP? I am moving on and getting my life back but I want to show XMM my new house, my pool, whatever. It seems that I am always trying to measure my life with what I think his is. I think he has so much more then I do, and it's better then mine, and I find myself jealous and wishing that his life wasn't so great. In reality I have a lot (probably more then he does) and am thankful for my life. Just wondered if others had that problem? I know it shouldn't matter to me, and I don't really know how his life is. Why do I do this to myself?

I too have had some of the feelings you are describing. When I was involved in the A, I was often envious of MM because it seemed he and his W were always doing fun things on weekends and even during the week in the evenings. The more I thought about it, I realized he was filling his time in doing things and going places, but that he and the W never had a nice quiet evening alone out for dinner or just a nice romantic dinner at home with each other. Their activities always involed other people so they didn't have to spend time alone with one another.
I am not envious of that at all. My H and I can enjoy one another and enjoy simple things together as well as occasionally having a group activity.
Since ending the A, I have found myself making a point to let XMM know when DH and I have been on a nice vacation or something special of that nature. It feels a little petty when I do it, but after the emotional anguish he caused me, I can't help but get a little pleasure from this. So, my thought is that what you are feeling is pretty normal. Just remember, you are much better off than he is materially it seems, but most important, you are way ahead emotionally and that is the most important thing.
Hang in there.
IP
Hi Jst,
Wow! YOur DH's reaction to XMM sounds very familiar. My DH has said exactly those same words about my XMM, Liar, manipulater, user, and it is all true.
Even though these jjerks seem to get over so easily with it seems all aspects of their lives, I believe that their bad behavior will eventually come back to bite them. At least it won't be us involved when it does come back on them, hey.
Hang in there. It seems that most of us have some very similar emotions in the ending process and it helps to have people to share these thoughts with.
IP