Is Ex BF acting like my ex MM?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2010
Is Ex BF acting like my ex MM?
2
Fri, 01-28-2011 - 11:34am

Hello ladies!

I was going to post this down uner the singles section then realized after Luvin's post yesterday that it might be okay here as well.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2010
Fri, 01-28-2011 - 11:57am
Melinda - this type of a thing is really an independant decision - Obviously the realationship has some key signifigant parts that are resemblant (is that a word?) to an A behavior - the on again, off again, unavailability, EA is all there - but the part that worries me is your statment ...
and I am feeling guilty that I am "blowing him off".
why guilt? Do you owe him something? Did you harm him in some way?
I think the easiest way to decide for ME to decide to keep or sever relationships is answering 5 easy questions....
1. Does this person have my back? Will they be a support to me and I support them equally?
2. Am I maintaining this relationship because I "owe" them or is it in the spirit of vested interest as friends?
3. Can I still see myself good friends with them in a year? Is this more of an acquaintenace?
4. Do we have enough common ground that our relationship does not become awkward and revert to past bad behavior (leaning on EA/PA principles).
5. Do they have my best interest at heart?

By clarifying the type of friend (I have many acquaintenances) I can adjust my own investment into the friendship and reduce my own stress over sustaining THEM - or being a friend.
Hope that helps!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2010
Fri, 01-28-2011 - 1:08pm

Lolly

Yes it's the guilt that is bothering me too.

Why do I feel 'guilty'!