Ex-MM gave me a gift....

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-15-2009
Ex-MM gave me a gift....
19
Tue, 06-01-2010 - 7:01pm

So, I broke NC (yes, again)....and I'm glad I did it.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2010
Tue, 06-01-2010 - 8:43pm

Hi Mickey,


I have a mixed feelings.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2010
Tue, 06-01-2010 - 9:20pm

Mickey, I'm sorry if this is not what you want to hear.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-15-2009
Tue, 06-01-2010 - 11:35pm

Hi Panda,


I'm sorry that it upsets you that I 'got to talk to my ex-MM'...but like you said, you could pick the phone up and call your ex-MM now and have him there in 10 minutes.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008
Wed, 06-02-2010 - 1:37am

Hi Pandabear,


Great reply. Congrats on 33 days NC!!!


<

Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2010
Wed, 06-02-2010 - 8:56am
Great post emp as usual. Panda, please find a good T and find out why you are self torturing yourself. You really are becoming so desperate by going to his job and continuing to call him. You shouldn't glorify what you did because it was really a pitiful move from a woman who was strong enough to maintain NC for months. You have given total power to him AGAIN. You even wrote that he gave you PERMISSION to leave him. That's sad. Please see how wonderful you are as a person with this JAM.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Wed, 06-02-2010 - 9:12am

Why,


I think you meant "Mickey" instead of "Panda" in your reply. ;-) Panda had a great response and the term stalkerish ran through my mind as well.


****************************


Mickey,


I wish your thread had been entitled,"I gave XMM a gift." No more contacting this man and that's an order. ;-) It's time to leave him alone and get started on your RL without dragging this fantasy around for one minute longer. I really do hope for your sake and sanity that you can do it this time. NC=NO NEW HURTS!


Enough said,

   ~Iddy~ 


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2010
Wed, 06-02-2010 - 10:04am

Sigh.


Mickey we are all pulling for you. ReAding your post really made my heart hurt for you. It had to be terribly painful for you to hear your xap say those things and I truly hope that this is the jolt you need to end it for good. You can'ty\ keep doing this to yourself. You've thrown every scrap of dignity you've had out the window- showing up at his work was amazingly stalkerish. My face turned red for you. Please do not hold onto the fact the he wouldn't say he didn't love you... just let it all go. Realize, from an outsider's perspective, how pathetic this has become. I know one thing that keeps me in NC is the embarrassment of how I must have appeared near the end of the A. I don't want to be that person. You are better than this. It's time to start focusing on YOU. YOU are what matters. I want you to make a vow to yourself that you will never again put his feelings ahead of yours. He has let you go- it's time for you to do the same.


Hugs,


Jane
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2010
Wed, 06-02-2010 - 10:36am
sorry iddy, I did mean that post for mickey, panda's post was right on target. I am just so sad for Mickey that my heart aches. I just want her to know that life is so much sweeter when you aren't destroying your self-worth. No man is worth all of that, especially a man who is committed to someone else.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2010
Wed, 06-02-2010 - 10:39am

Mickey, this is for you from the Healing Library:



To let go isn't to forget, not to think about, or ignore. It doesn't leave feelings of anger, jealousy, or regret. Letting go isn't about winning or losing. It's not about pride and it's not about how you appear, and it's not obsessing or dwelling on the past.


Letting go isn't blocking memories or thinking sad thoughts, and it doesn't leave emptiness, hurt, or sadness. It's not about giving in or giving up.


Letting go isn't about loss and it's not about defeat. To let go is
to cherish the memories, but to overcome and move on. It is having
an open mind and confidence in the future.


Letting go is learning and experiencing and growing. To let go is to be thankful for the experiences that made you laugh, made you cry, and made you grow. It's about all that you have, all that you had, and all that you will soon gain. Letting go is having the courage to accept change, and the strength to keep moving. Letting go is growing up. It is realizing that the heart can sometimes be the most potent remedy.


To let go is to open a door, and to clear a path and set yourself free.
-unattributed


Oct. 12, 2010 -- began my personal search and rescue mission.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2009
Wed, 06-02-2010 - 11:56am

Hi mickey - I may get stoned for that but I think you did the right thing by contacting him and seeing for yourself that holding out any hope any longer is a total waste of time. I'm sure in three months or so you'll cringe remembering your waiting in the car by his office and him refusing to meet you because it really is humiliating and embarrassing, but sometimes denial is so huge that you really can't accept reality for what it is until cold truth stares you in the face.

And cold truth is that he ended it with you, and I'm sure pain of rejection is overwhelming. I think you're right and that was the nicest thing that he's ever done to you, and there are not many decent guys out there who'd step back and leave you alone out of concern for YOU. We are so used to cake eaters here - but this guy is actually doing the most loving thing by letting you go and removing himself out of your life and freeing you to meet someone who can give you what he can't.

You'll be alright, with time pain will lessen, and now you are FREE - for real. Congratulations and much love to you.

Hugs,
Gone

**Bloodied but unbowed**

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