Faking it?
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Faking it?
| Fri, 12-31-2010 - 12:55am |
what is it about the holidays that make married men want to contact other women?
| Fri, 12-31-2010 - 12:55am |
what is it about the holidays that make married men want to contact other women?
We all know what he wants from you.
Evidently it is more than you think you want to give.
Time to get real. Set some boundries and go on.
We only miss what could have been. I know I don't miss what it really was.
Yep, pretty clear what he wants from you.
If I was healthy, I certainly would not care why he contacts me or obsessively worry about what he thinks of me.
If I was not needy, I would not get a lump in my throat when I see his name in my email box.
I might have turned him down but he still has such an effect on me.
That is what drives me bonkers. I feel silly telling myself to go no contact. I know why you guys do it, and it's essential. But we are supposed to be just friends.
Anytime I start to waver in my resolve I get on here and read these posts. Not saying it will stop me if I just cannot take it anymore but it helps.
Hey,
In my opinion, all your getting yourself into is a tonne of crap. You say you're not engaging in an Affair, that you turned him down ... I wouldn't go giving yourself any gold stars just yet. Your post is full of questions about "why oh why does he ...", how about making some choices that protect you from any further self-destruction?
You know that neither one of you are behaving like friends ... even if he was, it's clear that you're all over the place when it comes to this MM.
If he "still has such an effect" on you, and yet you're allowing him to play these silly games with your life, then please be prepared for the crap storm that comes your way.
Since you don't see yourself as engaging in an affair, you have two choices: 1) get real with yourself, go NC and then join this amazing community; or 2) find another board where your "wonderings" will be tolerated.
At the very least, get yourself some counseling - as you've said that you're NOT emotionally healthy and are feeling needy. YOU WON'T find health with this marriage dude. Move on. Stop this silly.
Not a physical affair and not really an emotional one either.
Dear No More,
I am SO proud of you for trusting your gut - PLEASE don't ever doubt that inner voice, tragically every single one of us here did. And look where it got us. I remember in the beginning stages FEELING like something just wasn't quite right, but using all sorts of justifications for why it was okay - we were JUST friends, right. So why did he have to hang up or talk to me so differently when wife was around. Why did he only return my calls/emails during certain times, if we were just friends. I also knew that my feelings went beyond friendship. We engaged in cat & mouse games at first to "groom" one another - to see how far the other would go until one of us would call a time-out. Thus began the painful journey through the darkness of a full blown affair.
So, you're not being a "good friend"? Who cares. Your taking care of YOUR NEEDS FIRST. Actually, you are being a good friend, you are respecting him enough to put boundaries in place. You are thinking beyond your own selfish needs long enough to recognize he is someone else's partner. Whatever he says, his actions are telling.
And just look at these points from your post:
- a cat and mouse game that we keep playing with each other.
sorry, I should have explained the "shyt or get off the pot" comment.