fallen off , im ashamed

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2004
fallen off , im ashamed
13
Sun, 03-27-2005 - 7:20pm

hello all,

i been ding well in the last 10 days, last Friday, OW called and ask me to lunch , she said she wanted to talk, i thought i can handle it

anyways, we had lunch, and the worst happened, we had IC again

i dont feel anything anymore, after she left i was not sad, i did not cry or anything, i was not feeling anything, her words when she left was "thanks for the sex"

clearly i have fallen but i think i have not fallen back, she also told me she wants to have another kid, i did not say anything, she mentioned that it i can keep my emotions to myself that we can still see each other , she meant se, is this what i want, NO

maybe to her she just want a sexual affair but this is not what i want, i am clearly repsonsible for this also, i let my guard down

now i feel ashamed to all the folsk here on the board, i dont have any sad feelings this weekend, i was looking inward and waiting for me to ball over again, nothing, i was indifferent towards what happened, i did not call her nor email her this weekend, i have no more desire to do so

im not sure what to do .... :)

i felt bad that i let my self down again and i felt like i let everyone in this board down, but i can tell that there is realy improvement in my demeanor, im not sad or clingy anymore, i was affraid that all my emotions towards OW will come back again, they did not

i felt numb, i just had sex with OW and i dont feel that connected to her anymore

max

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2004
Mon, 03-28-2005 - 11:21pm

free, alice, all,

thanks for all the support

i have new things to report, i feel like im back in the military

- anyways, it seems like OW is contacting me more, she called me 2 times today, all along i think she is trying to get me back or something, chk this out, she told me that "i am his lover boy" i asked her what the heck is she talking about but she told me she is home and she has to hang up

ahhhhh, i am so upset at her, why is she doing this, she called me and she blocked her number so i have to answer, also at work she called me from her office and called me on my office too, this time i told her i am busy, she also asked me what i like from a Victoria's Secrets catalog .... i feel like she is trying to seduce me or something, i feel like the woman and she is the man in this affair or whatever u can call this

im upset at her and also confused, in the last 4 days , i have received so much crap from her, i been doing well in the last 2 weeks and now she is trying to bring me back, only difference now is that i dont feel anything for her anymore

max

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Tue, 03-29-2005 - 7:31am

Max

SHE IS NUTS, MENTALLY ILL, CO CO, a rather pathetic creature don't you think, not worthy of you time or thoughts...maybe it's time to get a restraining order against her.

Free

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2004
Tue, 03-29-2005 - 9:05am

<<<>>>

She has serious self esteem issues not to mention is a narcisstic player, and can't stand seeing you move on with your life and getting over her. It's a game to her, Max, that's all. Once she's got you back in her web, she'll play with you until you are dead all over again.

BLOCK her calls. DELETE her emails. Let your voice mail pick up any calls that you are not sure about. Don't fall for it again. "Fool me once, shame on you....Fool me twice, shame on me." This is YOUR opportunity to ban her from your radar ONCE and for ALL.

Id

 

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