Fear- I NEED HELP PLEASE

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2009
Fear- I NEED HELP PLEASE
3
Fri, 04-30-2010 - 12:37pm
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Edited 4/30/2010 2:17 pm ET by hazelrose2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2010
Fri, 04-30-2010 - 12:57pm

Hazel,

take some deep breaths. Hang in there, I am posting from my phone. Ur post has me spinning so I can only imagine how u feel. Breath deeply. I do not have all the answers. I do think u should have come all the way clean... I triedto read ur post yesterday but u deleted so I am not sure what u told or didn't. I am just of the opinion if u r going to tell, tell it all. I say this because you are so close and intertwined with this couple...or were anyway.

Most of what happens on their end is no longer in ur control. So u r pitching a fit over all these what if's that u simply can not control. So try to let go of those things and focus on what you can control. You and H. I am off to a hearing and gotta run. I am sorry I do not have tine to offer you more. Hang in there. I am sure someone will jump in soon. Do not delete ur post unless u really feel it is necessary, otherwise we cen not help you.

Breath....

Hugs

luvin

Luvin
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2010
Fri, 04-30-2010 - 2:18pm

I still admire your courage for telling. You are a very courageous woman and don't ever forget that. I know that I am a hypocrite for telling you this because I haven't told my DH yet that I had an A but I think that telling all is necessary if you truly want to rebuild your M. I know several couples who have been through rebuilding after having an A and they all say that the thing that hurt them the most (the betrayed and the WS) is not knowing the entire truth. This is not going to blow over easy believe me. Your DH is going to find out the truth eventually and wouldn't you rather he find out from you than someone else. I also believe that if you show your DH that you are trying to be totally honest now and that you love him and want your M to work it will probably work out for you. At this point I know that your DH is thinking there is more to the story than what you are telling him and he will probably dig until he finds out the truth. He may even contact your xap's W and the two of them might become allies.


And please stay away from your xap. He is toxic and how dare he say that YOU have caused damaged!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2009
Fri, 04-30-2010 - 2:20pm

I am so sorry you are having to deal with all of this.

BE the change that you want to see in the world! Life loves me and I love life! <3