Feel blah....I miss
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Feel blah....I miss
| Tue, 01-25-2005 - 1:40pm |
Today is 5 days NC! I'm not sure if I should count Saturday-present b/c he is away and won't be back until Saturday.
I just feel blah!!
I miss him making me laugh and vice versa.
I miss my cell phone ringing.
I miss checking my email to find emails from him.
I miss seeing his truck parked outside in the parking lot (where we work).
I miss his voice.
I miss his cologne.
I miss him.
Blah!
Hopefully tomorrow will be better. I just want to cry and I think I will....later.
SS

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Hi, SS-
I just posted the same thing!
It's Day 5 for me, and it sucks.
I miss his voice.
I miss his kisses.
But I know I'm doing the right thing, and so are you.
We'll do this together!
Breathe
Day 9 for me! I shouldn't feed in to this but I will..
I miss his voice
BUT let me put a twist on this and say
I DON'T miss waiting for my cell to ring
I DON'T miss waiting for an email
This is very difficult i wish us all luck..
Hugs
Bria
Mellon2482-
Thank you for your words of encouragement. I felt so strong the last 4 days until today. I am so much better than I was a month ago. I would have "broke" by now. I just have to remind myself today more than yesterday...why it had to end.
It had to end because I am married to a wonderful person who doesn't deserve this betrayal.
It had to end because I have two small children who love and adore their father and wouldn't understand if he went away b/c of mommy.
It had to end because HE is married to a wonderful person who doesn't deserve this betrayal (regardless if there will be others after me or there already are).
It had to end because the feelings of sadness, guilt, anger far outweighed the "good" feelings during the whole A.
It had to end because I was slowly losing all sense of self.
It just had to end!!!!
I have to accept the days when my heart fills like it's coming up through my throat, the days when I just want to sleep and cry, sleep and cry, the days when I can't concentrate on anything else but this A and how it has affected my life. I so wish I could take it all back.
SS
Sunshine
i think your reasons are good ones. It is importanat to do that..remind ourselves why it was good to end! It is so easy to forget. But in the long run we will be better for it.
Remember the small successes.. i agree.. i never thought I could go this long and never have. Each day is a reason to celebrate!
Just keep reminding yourself..even when it it hard to believe them, keep reading and writign...
Hugs and strength
Capnmit-
Thank you and ditto!
Now...I am angry. What the bleep? How did I go from missing him to sad to angry in about 6 hours? LOL! I have to laugh at myself. Sometimes...I feel I am taking this way too seriously;but, then if I don't, that means I risked everything...for nothing.
I want to have final words from me to him or did I say everything on Friday when I left him in silence?
SS
Hugs
Kell
Kelly...
It's too late. I responded to his email and like you said...it started a cascade of emails back and forth. It's so dang hard.
SS
At least I am not the only one..after 11 days of NC i text messaged " hi, how are you?". He replied back 2 minutes later. Then he called me on his way home from work. The conversation was friednly and conservative. I am glad we talked and didnt leave things so angry like we had but it is so hard!! I know it was a set back for me. I know I have to get on track.
Ditto that..It is so dang hard!
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