Feel like I am going into battle
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Feel like I am going into battle
| Thu, 11-05-2009 - 4:37pm |
I know that sounds dramatic, but even typing this makes me sick to my stomach. We are having a holiday get together with my H's family and my Ex AP (my husband's sister's husband (my brother in law) will be there. It was an EA with some physical. I have not talked to him or seen him for 3 months. I am doing much better and feel more positive than I ever thought I could. I am just scared,anxious etc. I am just going to avoid him as much as I possibly can and just act like none of this is affecting me. I wont give him the satisfaction and really want to take care of myself this weekend. And I hope that I won't hurt inside too much. But these are the consequences of what I chose to get into. This is truly the hardest thing I have ever been through and I did it to myself. That makes me so angry that this is the most devastating thing in my whole life because he is so not worth it. He would be the worst thing for me or for anybody. I am concerned about how he will act although I know that is not important. He is none of my business anymore but I am human and am really dreading being around him. Any advice or words or wisdom or just prayers. I know I will handle myself the way I want and should, I just am afraid it will open up the old wounds inside of me. There are still times I miss the way he made me feel, but that is all I miss. I dont miss him and all the painful side effects.

Here's some advice:
1. Do NOT mope around him--you will subconsciously expect him to notice and then ask you about it...and when he doesn't you will be more crushed.
Comments and
Classy~
Your name says it all dear!
You sound like you did a great job my dear....
It really SUCKS that this person will continue to have to be a part of your life, but it will get easier... and you hold the power of this situation now.
Sounds like you did a great job of making that very clear this past week-end.
Keep reading.. keep posting... we will be here to cheer you on!!!!
L