feel like im losing control....

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2004
feel like im losing control....
7
Tue, 04-19-2005 - 4:24pm
i havent spoken to MM since friday morning.. i cant stop thinking about him.. what is he doing where is he.. is he thinking about me... i know if he really wanted to talk to me he would find a way .. i guess he doesnt cause he hasnt.. said give him time to work on his family ... let things settle at home and i get that ,but im goin crazy ... i cant keep him off my mind.. and its only been since friday !!!! how will i make it thru.. if this should be forever?!?! ...the heartache is unbearable...i stay busy ,but every second my mind wanders i think of him... i feel like im losing it fast.. how do u deal ?!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 04-19-2005 - 7:34pm
I know its hard..but what you have to do is realize he is not yours to long for. He is someone else's..and with that said, you deserve to have someone for yourself. Or if you have a husband, that deserves a hard look- to decide if it's your marriage you want or not. I know I am beginning to sound colder as time goes on in regards to these MM's.. but I can't help it. EMA's, no matter how many butterflies they put in your stomach --eventually you're not dealing with a pure and honest love. You're dealing with a big box of chaos.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2005
Tue, 04-19-2005 - 7:41pm
read my post...I am in a similar situation..do you have any recommendations..maybe btwn the 2 of us..we can help each other..it is so tough..dealing with this. because we have no one to talk too...and this message board is wonderful to have others that have experience this to hear what they have to say...no matter how we dont want to hear the truth..sometimes.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2004
Tue, 04-19-2005 - 8:50pm
sorry i have no suggestions.. im broken.. upset unhappy pissed off u name it i have every emotion right now and i dont know what to do with any of them .. its only been since friday .. so i really need to give it some time .. but why does it seem so hard for me and so easy for him ? .. i wish i had some answers.. im making myself insane
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2004
Tue, 04-19-2005 - 9:40pm
Whatamess, girl I feel your pain. My A went on for several years. It then became a LDR. The first year we met 5 times, and THEN, like nothing he pulled back. I've been where you are and sometimes I am still there. I feel all the emotions, panin, anger, hurt. He still called me all the time, we had casual chit chat but I knew him to well. And low and behold a new OW. I knew it. I knew him. So again another emotion betrayal. Yes I think it is so much easier for these MM's. They are not tuned they way we are. My MM's ego need to be feed. I was too far away so he replaced me after over 9 years. I still miss him and what we had, but I know in my heart I was a fool. There is no quick fix for the pain, just be good to yourself and hope like I do every day for time to heal the wounds. Hugs to YOU!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2004
Tue, 04-19-2005 - 11:15pm

whatamess,

u are having withdrawal symptoms to your addiction

u will suffer all the pain, anguish, confusion, lies and betrayal, all sorts of emtions will come out until u can accept that the affair is based on lies and it will not be good in the end, we are only fooling ourselves and living in a fanstasy world, sorry to be blunt but it is the reality of it, i too suffered from it and still am up to now

what he thinks is not your concern at all, what u think now is what should be your priority, look inside yourself and see what is missing and why u went into the affair, we all have our reasons and demons

u are not alone in the pain, we all are in pain here, well most of us and feel free to post , lots of folks here have good advice and they have good insights on how u feel and how u may deal with it

welcome to the board,
max

pls take care of yourself , not the MM

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2004
Wed, 04-20-2005 - 8:51am
thanks for the advise... ur right its an addiction 100% true.. i need a fix of him and i cant get it .. just a hello would suffice.. im hopin time will make this better .. however at the same time im hopin he will talk to me ... wish i would have never met him.. i didnt want to meet was against my own advice but i gave in .. i knew better now i have to live with it ... thanks
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2004
Wed, 04-20-2005 - 5:08pm

whatamess,

its hard, u have to have self control, i know its hard, i fall to the same trap all the time also, but a one point u have to say no , unless u like pain

no contact is the best way for most of us

take care,
max