Feeling..

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2008
Feeling..
4
Thu, 04-01-2010 - 7:49am

xap mailed me a letter...I know I should have tossed it away but i didnt. It said 'I love you and I wanna try". So of course that sent the flood of emotions coming in.

Ive been spending alot of time in my gardens...thinking. The more I thought and the more I dig through my emotions the more I feel sorry for him.

I feel sorry that he doesnt see his issues and cause of that he will never grow. I feel sorry for his level of dysfunction; its become the normal for him so why would live any different. Hes a cycle that keeps repeting.His immaturely reflects just how far he has to come in this life.

I know Im not perfect but I do try to address my issues and learn and grow from them. Ive thought about what his problem is and the game he is trying to play. I feel sorry for that...how he cant see the wrong of it all and no desire to change...why would he change? hes got everything he needs in his little bubble. I can see the next 5-10 years of his life....itll be more of whats hes doing now. I feel sorry for the women who is going to hurt.

The last few days I dont feel anything but sorry for him and seeing how pathetic he really is. I am light years ahead of him, emotionally, phsy, mentally and spiritually why on earth would I wanna go back when Im all about moving fwd.

I hope all this remorse or whatever it is Im feeling is on the right road to reaching the indifference stage.

Thanks for listening,
DM

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2010
In reply to: dm2006
Thu, 04-01-2010 - 8:53am

Hi DM-

Thanks for sharing your feelings. Did you respond to his email? It sounds like you know that the A is over and you are ready to move on. I commend you :)

Jane
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/
Jane
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2008
In reply to: dm2006
Thu, 04-01-2010 - 9:04am

HI Jane,

It was snail mail...not email. Im still in NC and I feel good about that. The A has been over for months but I think maybe my mind, body and soul is accepting what and who he really was/is.

Thanks for your support Jane
DM

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008
In reply to: dm2006
Thu, 04-01-2010 - 12:21pm

What’s that saying same fecal matter different day? I think that sums up the words in xAP’s letter.


Responding to it would only take you backwards. You are not there and he is not where you are in growth. It’s like a sober person that’s been through rehab trying to communicate with an addict that isn’t ready to get off the drug. It would fall on deaf ears and he just would not “get it.”

Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
In reply to: dm2006
Thu, 04-01-2010 - 2:22pm

E1


<<<I use to wish I could petition the courts to make mine wear a bell around his neck to warn women he was in their vicinity.>>>


LMBO!


   ~Iddy~