Feeling Anxious and Sad. :( Why why why!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2011
Feeling Anxious and Sad. :( Why why why!
11
Thu, 02-10-2011 - 12:16pm

Well, I am going on month of the end of A with my boss. It's been really difficult. The first week, I was very strong and happy. This week has been shaky. I am happy its over but I also miss the attention. He is super nice to me and been really attentive and just trying to be a friend. Which LC is working an not working, its almost impossible with my position in this company and my working relationship with him.

Today, I am nervous, antsy, and sad. I woke up wanting to ask him why or when are we going to talk about stuff. Which I know its wrong and I won't do it. I am just being honest, I know its wrong, I am glad its over, I know what my issues are, I know the triggers etc.

I was in his office this morning and his W stopped by. She was happy to see me and complimented me about how amazing I looked. Oh it was ackward for me, it made me sad. He patted my back after she left. I wanted to cry because I felt so freaking sorry for myself.

I am glad that he is not being a jerk to me and I have managed to be very composed and kept my mouth shut. I will get through this but its hard. I miss him and I feel rejected but I know its not about me. I never knew it was going to be such a struggle to be ok and normal again.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2011
Fri, 02-11-2011 - 10:16am

Started out the morning fantastic. Walked in to work it a great mood and looking awesome (sorry superficial). I make coffee, XAP walks in break room, small chat is fine. Then the girl walks in (he flirts with her or checks her out in front of me, even though he knew it would hurt my feelings, jerk) anyways, girls walks in, he stood there staring at her body. I got so sick to my stomach, I walked away. I could not even watch it.

You know everyone, LC and NC, it helps. No wonder everyone is pushing me to do it. How am I supposed to move on when I see his damn face and he is a jerk and I hate him. I hate him. I hate myself for getting jealous and acting like a 18 year old immature girl.

Ok, I will be strong. I will be fine. I am better than this. I don't want to lose my husband and son. I can't spend my time being upset about something so aweful.

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