Feeling a bit down.....
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Feeling a bit down.....
| Mon, 05-03-2010 - 10:36am |
So I am feeling a little down today; don’t really know why. I’m not even missing him or longing for him so it isn’t that, maybe I’m just sick of his stupid games.

Feeling down is just par for the course... part of the journey. Day 4 is early and you will experience many more ups and downs in the days to come, so just be prepared to weather the storm. I promise that those times pass... and soon they will come with less frequency. I imagine that it's hard to see him on a regular basis. I am sorry you have to go through that. I've seen xap once since ending it over 90 days ago, and that took a lot of energy out of me and hindered my healing in the days afterward. Just keep moving forward. Ride the wave of emotions and stick to NC and it will get better.
Hugs,
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/
Now, now, now... is he being a 'jerk' by doing what he ought to be doing? Ignoring you? Just like you'd ignore him in the same situation of LC, as drummed into the heads of all the LC-ers on this board? Sounds like you're double standarding here.
Don't waste your time analyzing his behavior, or how he's getting through LC situations; this is about YOU. Any effort your expend trying to 'read' him, is a mind game you're playing... with YOURSELF.
Let it go! Let it go! And I really wish you could do something about the kinds of situations where you find yourself in LC. I know it's hard and I am one to talk, since I am not an LC-er -- but it seems like a lot of pain and set backs, perhaps unnecessarily?
Please don't be low today - it really cuts into your 'happy time', ykwim?
Love and kisses to you!
Dee
Hello Life,
I know how hard LC is - I am there. But I am also Day 19. It get's easier with time. I find each and every time I see him, I get better at the 'performance' and the lows that follow are less low. I know it hurts - I've wanted to scream and shake him when we are just doing 'business as usual' - like "hey wtf ... why aren't you hurting, screaming, crying, begging for me". But I know deep down inside, that it doesn't matter. I know that he misses me terribly, he doesn't look the same. He has lost his glow. But - you know, he's still moving into the new house they bought, he is still functioning, he's just trying to move on like I am. I don't want him to hurt ... but i think we get scared that if they are moving on, then we didn't mean much. Well, again. it doesn't matter. What we think of ourselves, I have learned, is all that matters. It's cold comfort some days - but Being a better person in the world, however much it hurts - is how I need to be. I want to hold my head high. I want to look my kids in the face and know that I deserve them - that they can trust me to mother them. When I tuck my daughter in at night I want to feel a little bit of comfort that her mother is learning to take the self-esteem she threw away, back. I want to (continue to) be an example of a strong and courageous woman - you know, walk the walk.
Please hang in there - it gets better. It REALLY does.
Hugs,
TU.
"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it."
— Maya Angelou
Life, I want to thank you for posting this. I'm having a hard day today too and its discouraging. In reality, I know how toxic and harmful my A was and I have felt so relieved to return to my real life, my H, my kids and my job. I know How bad all of it got and how having him in my life DOES feel like a weight has been lifted, but WOW, does it still hurt. The reality of that it really is over has smacked me in the face today and it stung like a bit@h.
Thanks to all of you who replied and encouraged life on her thread. It has helped jump start me a little today as well. Its a daily struggle but I'm really glad that I have this board to come to. Hang in there life, we will get there.
GMLB
Hello All ~
Thank you for posting and helping me through. Wow, where would I be w/out everyone here?
Last night was rough; I went to bed upset, hurt, angry and sad which I don't ever go to bed that way, so therefore it has drifted into this morning/today and am feeling blah and still angry towards XAP.
I have not had to deal with him for two days for the fact he has been out of town however he did send me a "funny" email about a question I had in regards to work, typically I would say something funny back, or stroke his ego about how funny he is ..... not this time ladies. It might not sound like much but for me, IT IS, trust me. I then start to feel badly for not saying anything so end up saying/sending something to him, again, not this time ladies.
Just trucking along....day at a time.......I know I'll survive.
Hugs to you all. Keep your chin(s) up chicas!
Yay- Good for you. I do know how big those accomplishments are, so feel very proud of yourself and use these little victories to propel yourself forward. These are big steps in a long journey and you will have to keep holding yourself accountable. Once you get the hang of it, it becomes easy, almost second nature... and then you will have "arrived."
Big hugs to you today.
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/