Feeling Blue - Back in NC I guess
Find a Conversation
Feeling Blue - Back in NC I guess
| Mon, 01-12-2004 - 11:17am |
I am feeling really down today, I didn't think would happen to me again. Seems like NC with MM again, this fall we had almost 10 weeks NC, I was just really starting to get over him, when he contacted me again. So like a fool, I went back to seeing him again. But I think things changed after that. I feel like he was really just using me and no longer felt like he was a friend.
It was stupid of me to go back, we have been seeing each other a few months now, and again I haven't heard from him since Dec 22nd. I know we both had Xmas vacation, but I'm sure he's back to work since last week, and still nothing?
I sent a couple of small messages (just "Hi"), but nothing. And I don't understand why he is on his user id anyways if he doesn't want to talk to me, he doesn't use that one for work, he said he only uses it to talk to me.
I don't know why I let myself into this situation again, because as much as I said to myself I would not get emotionally involved again, it seems like I am. I should just leave it alone and not try to contact him ever again, but that is so hard to do.
Dusty
It was stupid of me to go back, we have been seeing each other a few months now, and again I haven't heard from him since Dec 22nd. I know we both had Xmas vacation, but I'm sure he's back to work since last week, and still nothing?
I sent a couple of small messages (just "Hi"), but nothing. And I don't understand why he is on his user id anyways if he doesn't want to talk to me, he doesn't use that one for work, he said he only uses it to talk to me.
I don't know why I let myself into this situation again, because as much as I said to myself I would not get emotionally involved again, it seems like I am. I should just leave it alone and not try to contact him ever again, but that is so hard to do.
Dusty

My advice? Drop out of sight for a while. Don't contact him...see what happens. It'll be hard, but know that every day that goes by with NC with you is going to make him wonder what happened to you. "Doesn't she love me anymore?" That sort of thing. If he doesn't contact you after a while then you can decide what to do but first just leave him alone in his cave. Let him pout it out a while!
Is it that he doesn' t want to? DOesn't want to feel guilty, i dunno. We persued eachother intensely for a few weeks, and promised to see eachother soon, then i think i got to be too clingy and he had his mom being sick and it just fizzled. Just wore itself out. Just recently i sent him a letter explaining that its best not to have contact till i come to his town, ( with H) in March. No response, and yesterday lost, it texted, him. Hey did you get the letter??
later got, yeah got it sat. was plannning on phoning you tomorrow. How are things with you. nite nite..
so today late i wrote, just got home, busy day, talk to you soon okay!!
NOTHING!!!!!! I will be going for more NC thats for sure. I was doing so good to. Was up to 2 weeks then think of that day, and read through the old emails and get all weeepy, thinking where could it have gone wrong, and i text him.. lame o me i know.. lots of help we all need. thanks guys
Dusty
So if you have the benefit of being able to re-read xMM's reasons for NC from a year ago and it's the same lame line this year, my question to you is why do you continue to value yourself so low A YEAR LATER
But you know as well as I do that emails are first then talking then meeting then lunch then well you know. Every little step leads right smack back into the affair.
The only way to stop it is to stop it.
Good luck. I know how hard it is -- it took me a year to really pull out and end it for good and all. I'm almost a year free & I can tell you the absolute truth -- my life has never been better than it is right now.
The affair is a velvet prison -- it smells good & looks pretty but it's still a prison and you're trapped & addicted to it.
Life is out there -- go and find it. Dont' waste anymore time hurting like this. You can be happy.
You deserve a real life & real happiness.