Feeling Blue

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2012
Feeling Blue
7
Mon, 08-13-2012 - 11:54am
Im not even sure why but just wondering if its all part of the process. There are times im so so close to thinking of him as JAM Deep down I know he's JAM just not there with it yet. It seems that while I struggle to move forward so too do I struggle to remain static. Not to break NC or ever resume our friendship but just to cut those last few threads that binds him to me. (and I know they too are in my head) but why cant I just cut them loose? Im so tired of all the introspection and working it all out. I want a break but I feel I have to push on and cant. Inotherwards Im stuck! Any thoughts/ tips on how to unstick? 

Sunny Soon Xxx
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2012
Wed, 08-15-2012 - 6:53am

Hi Kim

Thanks for dropping “in” and giving me much food for thought..... As I slowly but surely realise that no XAP and I were not the most tragic love story never to have been written, I’m guessing then that when we inevitably run into each other there won’t be harp playing cupids down the shopping isles coming to guide us back into lala land. And more importantly I have a choice!! And I absolutely choose never to go back there again.

 

Thanks Kim that really helped put a more rational perspective on things, choice! Much less scary than harp playing cupids :smileyhappy:

Sunny Soon Xxx

Community Leader
Registered: 05-23-2003
Tue, 08-14-2012 - 2:26pm
Sunny Soon -

Just wanted to pop in with a quick thought for you to think about. A little different perspective (as is my way - LOL).

You said that you've seen "how strong determined women have got sucked back in".

Just...keep in mind that one can only be sucked back in if they allow it.

It is, after all, a choice.

Hugs - I hope you are feeling less blue today.

Kim

    

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2012
Tue, 08-14-2012 - 5:53am

Aww thanks Clarity and thank you for putting JAM into perspective for me, who'd have thought :smileyvery-happy:

Have woke up feeling positive and determined again, pity party is done for this week. Sure is a rollercoaster.

Keep on rocking :smileyhappy:

(((Hugs)))

 

Sunny Soon Xxx

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2005
Mon, 08-13-2012 - 3:28pm

Well, you never have to feel unwanted, unlovable or abandoned with us.  We want you, we love you, and we are here for you.

Correction....he already is JAM...JUST ANOTHER MAN.  A man who puts his socks on one foot at a time...like any other man. Who sits on the toidy and takes a dump...like any other man.  Okay, can I get any cruder?  Well, yes I can, but I won't.

Keep reading in the H.L. for fortitude and strength...we need to build you up so that the only thing that can ever suck you up and in is a black hole in the Universe.

A weekend of fun!  I know that wink and so don't need to know anymore...don't want to have to poke out my third eye :smileyvery-happy:

((hugs))

Clarity


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2012
Mon, 08-13-2012 - 2:55pm
(((Soglad and Clarity)))
Thanks gals for the encouraging and supportive words. Would you believe an hour after I posted this I had a moment of, well Clarity! My therapist left last week for a 4 week holiday and Monday is my day for T which I look forward to immensely. I realised her not being there for me (and yes of course she needs to take her holidays) just tapped into those old dysfunctional core beliefs of being unwanted and unlovable and well, abandoned. And it was those pesky little beliefs that led me to him in the first place!! So realising that has helped me re-focus on RL this evening. 

I guess my rush in getting through the "programme" is that it is very possible that he will return home in the Autumn at least that was his plan when I last spoke to him in May. That scares me, I have seen how strong determined women have got sucked back in. But if I have to post in every day then I will. He has got to be JAM before summer is out. Correction he will be JAM by then! He will. 

Soglad I hope your XAP was sick sick the entire cruise :smileyhappy: You are worth so so much more than him. We shall just keep following the programme one day at a time. And Clarity I think also today I was feeling the after effects from a weekend of fun :smileywink:

Hugs to you both
Sunny Soon Xxx
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2005
Mon, 08-13-2012 - 1:27pm

(((sunny)))

I'm sorry you are feeling blue.  Really, it IS a part of the process...sunny days...blue days.  But your sunny days are definitely outweighing the blues, right?  

And this breaking free IS exhausting business.  And it doesn't hurt to take a break from it all.  Go out, do something fun or pamper yourself.  Now, I know you know how to do THAT! :smileyhappy:

I really wish there were a magic wand (and I get to be the Princess waving it), but there isn't...and there shouldn't be really because then we would not seek out and learn our lesson(s)...and this is one of those HARD lesson.

Trust in the process, Sweety.  Time and distance are working their magic...remember those days when you were blue all over?  You're making progress.  Be patient with the process...be patient with yourself.

Another (((hug))) for good measure.

Clarity