Hey WTSA. I am not sure if this is going to help you or not, but for what it's worth, I was having the same urge last night. Finally I said to myself: "Tough. This is just your tough luck. You entered into a God-awful shambles of a sham relationship with someone unavailable, and you lied to and cheated everyone in your life just to stay in it.
Well this feeling is just too darn bad. This is the price you pay for behaving like an ass and being so self-centred. So it hurts? Get over it. It won't hurt forever. Right now, this isn't about you. This is about making amends to your husband who you robbed of endless days of sunshine. Grow up, endure the pain, and tomorrow is another day."
Hey there. Felt the same as you at around the same time. Just try and stay focused on you and why you are doing this. Sit on your hands if you have to!! You are right, the finality is starting to sink in. Keep moving forwards, breathe through the pain. You are missing the feel goods but if you keep going it WILL start to ease. Keep reframing things and keep the focus on you. You can do this - we are here to help. I am almost at 7 weeks and it is easier and you will get here.
Just hang onto your life jacket and continue floating....these emotional waves will become less intense the closer you get to shore. Remember that feeling desparate leads to weakness and neediness...and you don't want to be that person. As already mentioned, around the 3rd week comes the harsh winds of reality, slapping you upside the head that this is really it; THE END...but it also symbolizes the beginning of a new you. As you continue healing you will gradually throw away the old parts of yourself that were broken and emotionally inoperative. Affairs corrode our inner core and the sooner we get out of one, the sooner we can get healthy again.
22 days is HUGE and I promise you WILL get past this.
Oh Melinda, how absolutely true! I so agree with you...it is NOT worth the two minute high - KNOWING the months of anguish that would follow, as sure as night follows day.
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Hey WTSA. I am not sure if this is going to help you or not, but for what it's worth, I was having the same urge last night. Finally I said to myself: "Tough. This is just your tough luck. You entered into a God-awful shambles of a sham relationship with someone unavailable, and you lied to and cheated everyone in your life just to stay in it.
Well this feeling is just too darn bad. This is the price you pay for behaving like an ass and being so self-centred. So it hurts? Get over it. It won't hurt forever. Right now, this isn't about you. This is about making amends to your husband who you robbed of endless days of sunshine. Grow up, endure the pain, and tomorrow is another day."
And then I went to sleep.
Take care and post as often as you need to.
yellowone. Xxx
"Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves." ~Henry David Thoreau~
Thank you all for your replies.
Just hang onto your life jacket and continue floating....these emotional waves will become less intense the closer you get to shore. Remember that feeling desparate leads to weakness and neediness...and you don't want to be that person. As already mentioned, around the 3rd week comes the harsh winds of reality, slapping you upside the head that this is really it; THE END...but it also symbolizes the beginning of a new you. As you continue healing you will gradually throw away the old parts of yourself that were broken and emotionally inoperative. Affairs corrode our inner core and the sooner we get out of one, the sooner we can get healthy again.
22 days is HUGE and I promise you WILL get past this.
hi
I agree with Iddy to hang on TIGHT to your life jacket!
Oh Melinda, how absolutely true! I so agree with you...it is NOT worth the two minute high - KNOWING the months of anguish that would follow, as sure as night follows day.
Beautifully put!
Feeling much better today.
I'm happy to see that you rode the emotional wave and didn't act upon your urge to reach out.
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