feeling lonely and bored
Find a Conversation
| Sun, 03-21-2010 - 4:09pm |
This is the second weekend in row that I have not busied myself by having people over to my house. I was socializing so much to keep myself occupied and that was a good thing because being bored and lonely is really dangerous for me. I just don't seem to have the energy today to do anything - no weed pulling or house cleaning - all I want to do is veg. I've been thinking too much about the highs and excitement of the A and not focusing enough on the lows. I've been thinking about how nice it was to have something to look forward to - some reason to look pretty - a little romance and excitement in my life. I guess this is just the fog revisiting me and maybe to be expected after 4 months (once one stops being so vigilant and starts to take the Ending Process for granted.) Anyway, I'm lonely, bored and actually missing my xAP. I HATE that. I hate that I'm still not impervious. This recovery thing sure does take a loooooong time, doesn't it?
My H continues to disappoint me, too, and I'm beginning to think our M is really on it's last legs. I have begun to daydream about leaving and starting a new life. Caught myself looking through the real estate section of the newspaper and wondering if I could afford a new home, sans H. OY!
I'm a little lost lately! Can anyone give me a helpful push?
So glad to have this board to come to.
xo
Dee

Pages
The month of March thus far has
Pages