feeling lonely and bored

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2009
feeling lonely and bored
11
Sun, 03-21-2010 - 4:09pm

This is the second weekend in row that I have not busied myself by having people over to my house. I was socializing so much to keep myself occupied and that was a good thing because being bored and lonely is really dangerous for me. I just don't seem to have the energy today to do anything - no weed pulling or house cleaning - all I want to do is veg. I've been thinking too much about the highs and excitement of the A and not focusing enough on the lows. I've been thinking about how nice it was to have something to look forward to - some reason to look pretty - a little romance and excitement in my life. I guess this is just the fog revisiting me and maybe to be expected after 4 months (once one stops being so vigilant and starts to take the Ending Process for granted.) Anyway, I'm lonely, bored and actually missing my xAP. I HATE that. I hate that I'm still not impervious. This recovery thing sure does take a loooooong time, doesn't it?

My H continues to disappoint me, too, and I'm beginning to think our M is really on it's last legs. I have begun to daydream about leaving and starting a new life. Caught myself looking through the real estate section of the newspaper and wondering if I could afford a new home, sans H. OY!

I'm a little lost lately! Can anyone give me a helpful push?

So glad to have this board to come to.
xo
Dee

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2009
Mon, 03-22-2010 - 3:10pm

The month of March thus far has

BE the change that you want to see in the world! Life loves me and I love life! <3

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