Feeling the need to vent today!
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| Wed, 01-26-2005 - 11:21pm |
My day has not gone well. Bear with me. 1st of all, I woke up to find that 5yr old DD lost her snowpants, boots, hat and mittens somewhere and noone seems to know where they are, including her teacher, or anyone at school. P1ss me off!!!
2nd, I was getting ready to start my car this morning when I tripped on the stairs going out to the garage, did a nose dive on the pavement and slid almost under my car. So now I'm bruised, scraped and sore!
3rd, tomorrow will be 3 weeks with NC (I think) and I'm really really missing him today and I'm not sure why. I know he's supposed to be going to Florida to see his parents sometime in Feb, but since I've had nc, I'm not sure WHEN in Feb and that's bugging me. I guess it would just be comforting to know whether he is gone or still in town, come Feb. I think I'm secretly hoping he says goodbye first or something. In March, I'm going to Vegas for my dad's wedding,(to his OW) which I'm excited about, but I know I'll still be far away from him. He also knows I've had that planned, but I'm sure he doesn't remember WHEN, and again, I'd like to be able to say goodbye. (I mean, what if my plane crashes or something! j/k)
4th, the hang up phone calls at work that I swear is him, have slowed to only one a day lately instead of the 3-4 it was last week. Which makes me think I'm slowly disintegrating from his mind and he doesn't need to hear me say "hello?, hello? HELLO!!" on the other end of the line anymore.
5th, tomorrow is Thursday, my day off, which is always the hardest day for me cuz it's when I would get to spend the most time with him, in person, and all day long on the phone! My Thursdays are weird and somewhat empty now.
I guess I'm just feeling sorry for myself tonight. I know that NC is good for me, but just knowing that if I picked up that phone and asked him to come over, he'd be here in a heartbeat, makes it awful hard to resist sometimes. I guess I'm starting to feel that maybe he's starting to let go as well, and if I just spoke a single word to him I know I could put me back in his mind again. I realize it would do neither of us any good. It would be unfair to all of us (including his W) for me to do that. I'm not really huring right now, (well, physically I am due to my gracious fall this morning)but I'm definately feeling lonely for him. I think I need that kick in the "arse" from Posie and Free tonight. Got any tough love in ya girls?? And anyone else out there for that matter? I could use it right now!!
Sorry to unload my troubles for so long.. thanks for reading :)
Pal

Pal
If your were foolish enought to call him you would end up with those skid marks on your heart not just your butt or on what ever you landed on today.
Time to take the next step and let the game go , the ball was in your court long enough put it away and get back to liveing thinking and acting like the resposible adult you are.
I am to tired to trully kick your A$$ tonight but if you screw this up at this late date you will here from me count on it girl.
Free