feeling needy
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feeling needy
| Sat, 01-16-2010 - 12:08pm |
broke up on Nov2, broke NC briefly and horribly on Dec3 - nothing since then - and it's been so long but I'm really melancholy for the past two days and really missing X. Things at home are going fine and I'm not sure why I'm suffering so much so late in the game. I feel a huge heart-set back and it sucks. I'm very lonely. I miss the junk. I miss the highs. Gosh, this is a long road.
Ugh.
Just sharing here, trying to not wallow in the thoughts.
I hope you are all having much better days.
xo
Dee

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I always get something out of reading your posts, and I don't know if I am helping you, but I am thinking about you. I understand how you are feeling. Let's try to make the best of our day today! Thank you for all the support you've given me, and if there is any way I can help you or you just need to vent, please email me.
I'm in the melancholy club too dee
Dee,
You and I do not talk much...not directly back n forth, but just about every time I read a post, I laugh at something you have said. Obviously, u have a great personalty. I am sure you are well liked and fun to be around people you know. I am like you in many ways...from what you have stated anyway. I was M. Got married very young. My hubby's interest in me waned so quickly...
Anyway back to you. WE have the same NC day. Dec 3, 2009. I have felt the roller coaster of emotions...I too have missed him. I have missed the highs. Just the thought as I type this gets me a little excited....so let me focus...LOL. wheeew!!!
Journal today if it works for you.
Make a list of the times your remember when he did something to make you feel less than =reduced
For a second, you might be sad, but then you will realize what you really dont MISS.
Perhaps it was a time when he did not show up, and you were all ready and waiting and cancelled on you at the last minute. U probably dropped everything and got all dolled up to see him too...n then he called n cancelled or just left you hanging, waiting by your phone, u waited and waited...heartbroken, hurt, again.
Or a time when he looked you in the face and lied and you and he knew you knew it was a lie...and the moment passed.
If all this is not something that works for you. Get a funny movie, hangover is great, but you may have seen it already...get an old comedy u love, get out if weather permits. Do something with your children, call n old friend who you blew off for the A, books are good too. I am a busy body, so you know what works for you...DO THAT, focus on you, yeah you will think about him, BUT you can redirect those thoughts. U will catch yourself in it, and then redirect, if you can say it out loud, it helps. I do it all the time, I just say FOCUS!! Focus. Or whatever word you pick, I am sure there is a word that you can make up. I say it in the shower, I say it when I am driving in my car. I do all kinds of things. Its not that I dont feel, I literally distract myself from negative or unhealthy thoughts of exAP. Hope this helps!!
Please hang in there, we need you and we are here for you....U r insightful, bright and so much more than u even know. U have more strength than you think, tap into it, and these days will pass. There is a light at the tunnel....some of us see it sooner than others, but the light is there, keep workin to see it...DO NOT GIVE UP. Like me , I managed to get here.
I could go on and on. Just stay busy.
Seems like a bunch of newbies are struggling today...Come on lets stay here and post and get one another thru the day(s). There are four of us on here today thus far, lets become a "click" today and encourage and support. I am here for whomever. Even if someone wants to vent or talk off the board...just send me an email.
Edited 1/16/2010 2:30 pm ET by siennajaden
Hi Dee!
Wow!
Not Broken,
I want to see DENZEL too...wish we could go see him together..LOL. Let me know how the movie is, and hang in there tight.
I have to tell you how much I admire your posts, your strength and your courage. So happy I have never seen or have to see exAP or wife. And these people on this board this have limited contact because they work with these MM are my SHEROES!! Have a great day and be sure to tell me about Denzel and hang in there, my withdrawls are there too but they pass.
Dee,
I am new here too and you chimed in and helped me right away. Im still early in the NC game but I know how important it is to stay strong and remember the lows and how bad they were. Right after a high, comes a low and those lows are just not worth it. It is a terrible roller coaster that cost me my self esteem, self worth and independence.
Please hang in there, you are not alone. Keep your head held high and read the poem After Awhile that I posted in the healing library. I know it by heart now and those words hit home to me each time I read it.
Stay strong and i will be thinking about you!
Hey, dee~
Hang in there, sweet thing!
I miss the "junk" too.
Dee..you and I have the same break-up date :)
I get you, and I also have days where I wonder why I'm still missing him so much this far out. I have to work HARD at reminding myself of all the reasons he and the A were TOXIC to me.
We're strong, and we've gotten this far...you're going to make it...you know by now sometimes it's not just one day at a time, but one minute at a time :)
I've complained to my T several times about "getting over this is taking too long!"..she laughs at me and says people ALWAYS underestimate how long it takes to recover from an A :) I use the pain I've already worked through as my reminder as to why I should NEVER travel that road again.
Hang in there..this too shall pass :)
My heart swells with pride and I am in awe reading this thread.
As Clarity said, the support you are giving one another is awesome. I think this is one of the longest threads I've ever seen on a Saturday. ;-) At least I know you are all reading here on the weekend and although they are usually slow, it's just so good to see the support that was given today.
Hang in there ladies. I promise it will get better but it does take time. Try your best to keep busy, do something special just for yourself, and hug the people in your life that love you unconditionally.
You all rock,
~Iddy~
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