Feeling oh, so weak today....
Find a Conversation
| Sun, 03-07-2004 - 8:47am |
Before anything else, he was a good friend of mine...that supported me during very stressful times. Always had a comforting word or a funny joke to send my way. And I find when I'm at the peak of turmoil in my life....I'm obsessing about him, when I have soo many other things that I should be spending my time on. I don't know why I waste my time about things I cannot control or change, but yet I do. Maybe its just an avoidance of reality thing I've developed over the years. I have friends that I can get the same things he gave me to me...but it just seems different.
And he keeps popping in my dreams. In fact, I had one about his wife the other night (I've never met her nor knows what she looks like)...in my dream, she was talking to me and didn't know who I was. I kept trying to avoid her, but she kept coming up to me. Finally we talked...and the more we talked, the more I liked her. I saw her as a really, really nice person and I began to feel real guilty. I kept thinking "gosh, how could I ever have done this to her...she's so nice". LOL...darn repressed guilt showing up in my dreams.
{sigh} I miss him....and my world is in such turmoil.
dharma
| Sun, 03-07-2004 - 9:14am |
