feeling sad..FREE what do you think?
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| Sat, 11-27-2004 - 9:24am |
i am feeling sad this morning.
things with dh are going well. i am trying to pretend to love him. i hope time makes me happy again.
i know things with xom are over. i think i fell in love with the excitment the A brought, the great sex and with his friendship.
i am trying to find that again in my M and wonder if i can ever get it back. will i ever be happy again?
dh and i were invited to a party OM will attend with his new wife. the party will be on the anniversary of the first day we made love.
when i see xOM he brings out this happiness from inside. this passion for sex for love that makes me happy inside. i want to hold him and be with him.
last new years we spent it together with our partners. but we were so high for each other. we even held hands without anyone noticing. he told me it was his best new years and it was mine too, but b/c we were together.
i pretend to be happy in my M. i know i cant have xOM.
how do i move on? how can i be happy again without the person who made me happy?
thanks for listening.
upsidedown

USD
I believe that your happy feelings come from how you feel about yourself and the attention from XOM just brought them to the surface, I believe again that what you fell in love with is not XMM but the way he made you feel about YOU, kind of a reflected glory.
What you need to be happy and to be happy in your marriage is "IN YOU", you need to learn to feel good about you with out having to depend on someone else to do it for you.
ALL THE GOOD FEELINGS CAME FROM YOU NOT XMM, those feelings are inside you waiting for you to find a healthy way to tap into them.
YES YOU CAN BE HAPPY, BUT STOP LOOKING FOR OTHERS TO PROVIDE IT.
I would suggest NOT GOING TO ANY PART with XMM there unless your looking for trouble.
Free
FREE,
thanks for your reply.
i do think i fell in love with the way om made me feel and not really with him.
i fell in love with the attention he gave me and the sex was great.
things with Dh are there. but i dont have the happiness i had when om would call or when i see him.
i want to have that happiness.
will i ever find that happiness in my M?
how do i get past wanting that DRUG that made me feel so good?
thanks for listening.
upsidedown
USD -
I know how you feel. I love my H - he is a great person and a wonderful H...but the excitement, the passion, the high I felt w/ xOM was unlike anything I have ever experienced before. Just hearing his voice, or seeing his name in my Inbox gave me butterflies.
We too had a 'connection', a great friendship...which then led to great sex.
But that's over now. I'm seeing a therapist and hope to eventually find those euphoric feelings (as Free said ) inside me. I want to be happy - I'm tired of feeling sad all the time. As much as I loved xOM, he has now turned me into this sad, tired, pathetic little girl, who I don't even recognize.
Free is right, the answers are inside of you...you just have to spend sometime searching :-)
Diva
UD
Thanks for putting my feelings into words.
I'm trying so hard to do the right thing, but i just feel like you do:
will I ever find that happiness again in my M?
I would just like to feel happy about anything right about now.
Hang in there.
Breathe
USD
One thing it may help yout to understand is that XMM is not the drug that got you high, the affair only triggered the release of the natural drugs the are in all people, please note I said the affair not XMM/XOM it is the danger excitement and stress produced by having this secret thing going on that causes the drugs to be released into your brain, when people get into an affair they literally get addicted to there OWN BIO - CHEMICALS, natural painkillers and stimulants, in short natural NARCOTICS, thats were the addiction comes from, like any junkie once you have experienced that high you want it again thus the need to find safe healthy ways to get something better that will not end up destroying you.
OKAY Schools out.
Free