FEELING SO GOOD!! Join me??
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| Thu, 02-25-2010 - 1:49pm |
Hello all,
I just needed to tell everyone that tomorrow, I am a tween, he broke contact recently but I did not act, I did read his texts and lame a$$ emails but I DID NOT ACT. So Iddy-unless that counts, I am so, so, so, proud to be a TWEEN...My daughter is a tween too, who woulda thought we would both be tweens at the same time? With TOTALLY different meanings and ramifications?....LOL :)
But me being a tween is not the point of my post. The point of my point is to tell EVERYONE, newbies, tweens, and the ever so BELOVED VETS thank you....THANK YOU! And just one more THANK YOU!!!
NOW...to spread some positivity around here...U all can do this! I can not tell you how much as "Free Confused" stated, how I wish I could fast forward all the newbies to where I am now. It is amazing how free and happy I am these days. I am not saying this to gloat. I have fallen, I have hurt...HURT BAD. This whole A even affected me physically. But when I let it go...I let it go. I can call it a release....that is the best way to describe it. This post would be two pages long if I sat here and told you of the total transformation of my entire lifestyle...how much I have true peace. How much I love me so much more than I ever have. How I can walk with confidence and my head held high. I can smile and its a real smile, not one I crack just to say a fake hello....I am HAPPY...and I truly know what that means now. I spent years trying to figure that out. Still on this journey called life now, don't get it twisted, I still have my work cut out for me in this game. I have very occasional and fleeting thoughts of MM but they flee as quickly as they come in...I almost caved when he came a fishing, but what was astonishing, was how quickly I bounced back...time does that for you. Only time! Had he contacted me as a raw and fresh newbie, I might have been back in the A, as we speak, who knows? All I know is now, he does not control me at all. NOT a bit. And that is the point.
I do not have that ugly A ball and chain wearing me down...its just not there anymore. Am I at indiffernce? Hell to the naw! (Dee's gansta voice) But, I am me seeing more and more of a much BETTER me in the mirror again. I am not only the old me before the A. I am a more polished and refined version of me. I kept my kind heart and did not let a devil ruin who I really was, despite all that I was put thru...part of which I was an active participant. I did not let MM ruin me. If anything I am a brand new model with the good foundation of the old classic model. I have new features and am so much more user friendly, but only if you carefully read my manual. I am going to trust and give to those that are worthy of me...I am going to be patient in all aspects of my life. From personal relationships...to my finances.. I am going to be diligent.
I am not any better than anyone on here, you can do all of this and be better and different and have your own showcase too...U really can. I am enjoying MY KIDS!! I can not tell you that is where the real joy of life is...THEY are the best things I have ever done!! The best, screw the law crap...my kids are my greatest accomplishment...second is kicking this A's A$$!! So proud to have let go of something that hurt me and so many others. So proud to have taken the strongest stand I ever have. You too can be so proud. Not proud that you engaged in it obviously, PROUD, that you let it go, despite the addiction and temporary feel goods, you walked away...U did not punk out. U stayed the course and you got YOU back together.
Now, if I was whining and boo hoo crying here, I might get a lot of responses. One thing I learned on this board, is that we all chime in when someone is feeling really down etc....that is fine and good and all...I do not need you all to post on my thread, but DO POST ALL your GOOD days, post your accomplishments. POST even the slightest victory. Its so therapeutic, not just for you, but for the readers...some of which feel like they will never feel better (although they will, eventually, provided they strictly follow the rules).
Someone posted celebrating the little things, we need a little more of that around here. Dee posted the hilarious gangsta voice thread...which was hilarious and soooooo sooo much fun. Iddy, posted the new week thread....lets keep the positivity kick KICKIN!!!!
Some lurkers have come out lately....KEEP COMING OUT, we need to keep this board POPPIN!! We always have a turnover of newbies, tweens, and vets....this board is incredible and we need to keep the postivity going.
Hope everyone is having a great day....I am like Kate Winslet in the Titanic movie...with no Leonardo of course...But he may come around, when I am ready. Right now, I am enjoying the ride...
Besos y Brasos (Spanish translation hugs and kisses)
Luvin

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Luvin,
WOOOO! Your post got me dancing in my seat :)
I will join in your celebration! Congrats to you for making it so far and truly changing your life. You are an inspiration to me, a very new newbie.
I am celebrating today, because last night at church, I walked forward to the alter. I got down on my knees, and I prayed. I laid all of this A stuff right there on the alter and gave it to God. I felt a weight life off of me and I felt Him comforting me. Now, that's not to say that I am "cured" HEAVENS NO! I know that this is a day to day journey, and that I will have ups and downs. I know I have to keep my gaurd up and the boundaries in place and carefully gaurd myself to everything that led me to this.
Anyway, I am still on my journey, and I know I will have hard days to come- but I am feeling more settled and reassured in my decision to end than ever. So I will take that today and be glad.
Thank you for posting and reminding us to be thankful for the good moments, the good days :) :)
Hazel,
Happy to have you dancing...we all could have a little fun just a dancing and letting of the stress...even if it is in your seat ;)
So happy you had a great experience at church. I have done the same thing, it was months ago, and but for what I believe is GOD and this board, I could not tell you where I would be. Stay fervent in your prayers and stay focused on you and you will be like Kate on the Titanic too....and Remember Kate lived a good long, life...LOL
Luvin
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
luvinme I am luvinyou...I am so happy for you, and you are definitely proud of your accomplishments and should be.
Congrats!!!
(Now, can someone break down for me how you become a tweener? How does it work?)
I woke up this morning on the right side of the bed. The sun is shining. The temperature is above freezing, I turned the heat off and want to hang clothes on the line. The snow is about 40% melted. I feel good about xap, Ive been realizing that I dont have to hang on, I can let it go. Spring is on its way, which means new life, growing-oh thats another thing thats got me today; I got seeds for this heirloom tomato that I have been looking for for 3 years. New beginnings is on its way, changes are going to be happening ...Im excited, I cant wait.Im feeling strong and confident about my life today.
The big hockey game is on today, Canada vs US....EH OH CANADA GO!!!
H and I have a hockey date with some friends, theres going to be food and beer and good ole hockey game. Anyone else watching the game?
Debbra
luvin,
i had to laugh when i read your kate winslet analogy. i feel like i'm on the titanic, too---not sure about the outcome yet, though. actually, it is a quite awesome analogy, now that i think about it some more. ALL affairs are like the titanic---no matter who's on it, no matter what they're doin, no matter how good the ride feels at the moment---it's goin' DOWN. either we develop or acquire the resources to survive the sinking, or we go down too. it's all on us, huh?
your optimism is divine and inspiring.
lillie
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Them are fight'n words! ;-)
GO USA!!!
~Iddy~
Thats right Iddy I said EH OH CANADA GO!!
Canada is going to strike gold again today : D
CONGRATZ!!!!
Does it not feel wonderful!? I will be joining you as a Tween on March 9th! I cannot wait and you know what... you don't have to be a tween to feel good, as long as you keep NC, that alone will make you feel better!!
The key is NO CONTACT=NO NEW HURTS
I stopped looking on his page in the middle on January and you know I feel better not worrying about "what are they doing" or "what are they saying about me"
NC since Dec. 9th 2009
No Contact = No N
DM,
So happy for you!!! Have a great time....I am going to let the Go Canada thing go for your good date!!
Spring does have a way of making you feel so brand new and moving on and on....I can not wait till flowers come around...the smells and then the beauty of summer before we know it.....
lilli,
So happy I could inspire you...happy you liked the analogy too...stick around here, good to have your positive around here....Blessings to all.
Luvin
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
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