FEELING SO GOOD!! Join me??
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| Thu, 02-25-2010 - 1:49pm |
Hello all,
I just needed to tell everyone that tomorrow, I am a tween, he broke contact recently but I did not act, I did read his texts and lame a$$ emails but I DID NOT ACT. So Iddy-unless that counts, I am so, so, so, proud to be a TWEEN...My daughter is a tween too, who woulda thought we would both be tweens at the same time? With TOTALLY different meanings and ramifications?....LOL :)
But me being a tween is not the point of my post. The point of my point is to tell EVERYONE, newbies, tweens, and the ever so BELOVED VETS thank you....THANK YOU! And just one more THANK YOU!!!
NOW...to spread some positivity around here...U all can do this! I can not tell you how much as "Free Confused" stated, how I wish I could fast forward all the newbies to where I am now. It is amazing how free and happy I am these days. I am not saying this to gloat. I have fallen, I have hurt...HURT BAD. This whole A even affected me physically. But when I let it go...I let it go. I can call it a release....that is the best way to describe it. This post would be two pages long if I sat here and told you of the total transformation of my entire lifestyle...how much I have true peace. How much I love me so much more than I ever have. How I can walk with confidence and my head held high. I can smile and its a real smile, not one I crack just to say a fake hello....I am HAPPY...and I truly know what that means now. I spent years trying to figure that out. Still on this journey called life now, don't get it twisted, I still have my work cut out for me in this game. I have very occasional and fleeting thoughts of MM but they flee as quickly as they come in...I almost caved when he came a fishing, but what was astonishing, was how quickly I bounced back...time does that for you. Only time! Had he contacted me as a raw and fresh newbie, I might have been back in the A, as we speak, who knows? All I know is now, he does not control me at all. NOT a bit. And that is the point.
I do not have that ugly A ball and chain wearing me down...its just not there anymore. Am I at indiffernce? Hell to the naw! (Dee's gansta voice) But, I am me seeing more and more of a much BETTER me in the mirror again. I am not only the old me before the A. I am a more polished and refined version of me. I kept my kind heart and did not let a devil ruin who I really was, despite all that I was put thru...part of which I was an active participant. I did not let MM ruin me. If anything I am a brand new model with the good foundation of the old classic model. I have new features and am so much more user friendly, but only if you carefully read my manual. I am going to trust and give to those that are worthy of me...I am going to be patient in all aspects of my life. From personal relationships...to my finances.. I am going to be diligent.
I am not any better than anyone on here, you can do all of this and be better and different and have your own showcase too...U really can. I am enjoying MY KIDS!! I can not tell you that is where the real joy of life is...THEY are the best things I have ever done!! The best, screw the law crap...my kids are my greatest accomplishment...second is kicking this A's A$$!! So proud to have let go of something that hurt me and so many others. So proud to have taken the strongest stand I ever have. You too can be so proud. Not proud that you engaged in it obviously, PROUD, that you let it go, despite the addiction and temporary feel goods, you walked away...U did not punk out. U stayed the course and you got YOU back together.
Now, if I was whining and boo hoo crying here, I might get a lot of responses. One thing I learned on this board, is that we all chime in when someone is feeling really down etc....that is fine and good and all...I do not need you all to post on my thread, but DO POST ALL your GOOD days, post your accomplishments. POST even the slightest victory. Its so therapeutic, not just for you, but for the readers...some of which feel like they will never feel better (although they will, eventually, provided they strictly follow the rules).
Someone posted celebrating the little things, we need a little more of that around here. Dee posted the hilarious gangsta voice thread...which was hilarious and soooooo sooo much fun. Iddy, posted the new week thread....lets keep the positivity kick KICKIN!!!!
Some lurkers have come out lately....KEEP COMING OUT, we need to keep this board POPPIN!! We always have a turnover of newbies, tweens, and vets....this board is incredible and we need to keep the postivity going.
Hope everyone is having a great day....I am like Kate Winslet in the Titanic movie...with no Leonardo of course...But he may come around, when I am ready. Right now, I am enjoying the ride...
Besos y Brasos (Spanish translation hugs and kisses)
Luvin

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Lost,
thanks momma...so happy to hear from you. Doesnt it feel so good!! Whew child...I am so on a high. A natural one. Love it....love to hear your doing so well. Cant wait till you get your wings too!! We will have to "fly" around together....
Besos y Brazos!!
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
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