Everything you've described is normal, honey. In a way it's a form of shock, like being in a daze with your eyes glazed over. You've taken action that was much needed but OTOH, your heart is not sure what hit it. I remembering sobbing like a baby, and then I got really sick. Had to call off work for a few days and mostly just slept.
I would suggest sitting with a box of kleenex, a hot cup of herbal tea, and watching Lifetime TV if you have that channel. Give your body a chance to absorb the shock that has hit you. You will probably just stare at the TV screen, but stay away from sapping stuff, music, reading old emails....stuff like that. It will only make you feel worse. Perhaps a nap would help too. Maybe you should blow off school just for today as long as you are not going to miss anything important.
You are going to feel empty and lost for a bit too. Getting through the first week is very difficult but remember, affairs are like an addiction, and now you will be going through withdrawals. When you are feeling a little better, long walks do wonders. Spring is a beautiful season for seeing rebirth and growth.....and you can be part of it now.
As time passes, spend it with friends, family, or just going places you enjoy by yourself. You have to remember you've beaten yourself up badly by having this affair and now all of the cuts and bruises are going to start showing. Time for TLC, reading everything you can here on this forum, journaling if you like doing that sort of thing, and getting plenty of rest. You need to
You are not alone, and I would guess that most of the folks on this board have gone through nearly the same thing at some point. It's an odd feeling, isn't it? It's strange when a relationship ends and life suddenly looks different. That's what I experienced when NC started. I didn't have quite the same feelings as you, because we'd ended it so many times in the past, that I was finally ready to get off the ride, but I still experienced the feeling of a new life, without xAP or the A a part of it. It will get better, I promise. Each day you will start to feel a little more detached and a little more distant. For me, getting out of the fog was a HUGE step in the right direction. I remember feeling like I was starting to see the true nature of the A unfold right in front of me. It's painful but it's good for the healing process.
Bottom line is that you just have to push through it. Push through the pain, and the hurt, and the sadness. This too shall pass.
We can all relate to you... we've all BTDT in the early phases of NC. It's hard, but it will get better. You will start to feel better... you will wake up one day soon and he will not be the first thing on your mind, and that will make you feel strong... and really good about yourself and your decision. There will be tough times ahead. There will be ups and downs, but the downs will get shallower and they will come farther apart. Iddy is so right- it's an addiction and we cannot be cured overnight. Anything worth doing is hard work. Rebuilding yourself will be the best thing you ever do for yourself. I am 69 days out today and I am a completely different woman than I was when I ended it. I had to hit rock bottom in order to rebuild. You have that chance now. It's ok to feel down- allow yourself to feel it... and then look to the future with hope. You are free from the cycle. It will stop hurting.
We can all relate.. my fav is the weather channel.. something about the continuity and the attitude there.. i can just zone to it for hours.. you are in depression.. a normal stage of loss.. actually, anti-depression meds would help bridge you to normalcy, taken under medical supervision.. hang in there.. you are surely not alone..
You can see by the other's responses you are not alone. We've all BTDT. It will pass, but it will also haunt you at times. You have to find what works best for you, what will distract you. I know this is hard, but try not to wallow in it. And if you do, promise yourself to do something to turn around the feeling, do something constructive, something productive. I remember walking in circles, wandering from room to room. Hours would pass and I'd think wth am I am doing, what have I done? I would get so mad at myself for wasting days on end thinking of him. Sickens me now.
Everything you've described is normal, honey. In a way it's a form of shock, like being in a daze with your eyes glazed over. You've taken action that was much needed but OTOH, your heart is not sure what hit it. I remembering sobbing like a baby, and then I got really sick. Had to call off work for a few days and mostly just slept.
I would suggest sitting with a box of kleenex, a hot cup of herbal tea, and watching Lifetime TV if you have that channel. Give your body a chance to absorb the shock that has hit you. You will probably just stare at the TV screen, but stay away from sapping stuff, music, reading old emails....stuff like that. It will only make you feel worse. Perhaps a nap would help too. Maybe you should blow off school just for today as long as you are not going to miss anything important.
You are going to feel empty and lost for a bit too. Getting through the first week is very difficult but remember, affairs are like an addiction, and now you will be going through withdrawals. When you are feeling a little better, long walks do wonders. Spring is a beautiful season for seeing rebirth and growth.....and you can be part of it now.
As time passes, spend it with friends, family, or just going places you enjoy by yourself. You have to remember you've beaten yourself up badly by having this affair and now all of the cuts and bruises are going to start showing. Time for TLC, reading everything you can here on this forum, journaling if you like doing that sort of thing, and getting plenty of rest. You need to
~Iddy~
OAJ -
You are not alone, and I would guess that most of the folks on this board have gone through nearly the same thing at some point. It's an odd feeling, isn't it? It's strange when a relationship ends and life suddenly looks different. That's what I experienced when NC started. I didn't have quite the same feelings as you, because we'd ended it so many times in the past, that I was finally ready to get off the ride, but I still experienced the feeling of a new life, without xAP or the A a part of it. It will get better, I promise. Each day you will start to feel a little more detached and a little more distant. For me, getting out of the fog was a HUGE step in the right direction. I remember feeling like I was starting to see the true nature of the A unfold right in front of me. It's painful but it's good for the healing process.
Bottom line is that you just have to push through it. Push through the pain, and the hurt, and the sadness. This too shall pass.
~Gal
We can all relate to you... we've all BTDT in the early phases of NC. It's hard, but it will get better. You will start to feel better... you will wake up one day soon and he will not be the first thing on your mind, and that will make you feel strong... and really good about yourself and your decision. There will be tough times ahead. There will be ups and downs, but the downs will get shallower and they will come farther apart. Iddy is so right- it's an addiction and we cannot be cured overnight. Anything worth doing is hard work. Rebuilding yourself will be the best thing you ever do for yourself. I am 69 days out today and I am a completely different woman than I was when I ended it. I had to hit rock bottom in order to rebuild. You have that chance now. It's ok to feel down- allow yourself to feel it... and then look to the future with hope. You are free from the cycle. It will stop hurting.
Hugs,
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/
Journey,
I can remember feeling the exact same way right after ending.
We can all relate.. my fav is the weather channel.. something about the continuity and the attitude there.. i can just zone to it for hours.. you are in depression.. a normal stage of loss.. actually, anti-depression meds would help bridge you to normalcy, taken under medical supervision.. hang in there.. you are surely not alone..
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