Fighting with H and wanting to call xOM

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Registered: 10-05-2004
Fighting with H and wanting to call xOM
26
Wed, 12-29-2004 - 10:48pm

So I had an arguement w/ H tonight. Man did he tick me off! He does this sh*t to me all the time and it just makes me SO mad!!

Our friends cancelled New Years Eve plans with us at the last minute, so now we are scrambling to make other plans - well, actually, I (capitalized, bold) am scrambling to make other plans! And it's not just that I feel like I am the one trying to make all the plans - I know he is busy at work this time of year, but when I spoke w/ him about it and asked for his suggestions, he suggests stuff that he KNOWS I don't want to do! He said, "Well, maybe we can go to one of the block parties downtown or to a club or something". How long have you known me??? 4 years?? How many times do I have to tell you that I HATE going to block parties and clubs because of all the drunk drivers on the road and random gun fire and other crap that happens during NYE??? UGH!!!

Ok - so my point to all this crap is that as soon as I hung up the phone w/H, I wanted to call xOM. I didn't, but I wanted too. When does that stop? When does the immidiate thoughts of xOM stop when stuff like this happens?

Diva




Edited 12/30/2004 1:02 am ET ET by actressdiva

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2004
Thu, 12-30-2004 - 4:13pm

NRE -

Ok, I'm crying again! Geez, I'm just an emotional basketcase lately :-)

As always, thanks for your support. This whole A thing has really made me lose so much of myself and my affection for H. I let xOM consume me and take up all my emotions. It's weird...lately I feel like I have no emotions left. Everything is gone.

<<>>

Yeah, right. Another reason I think I got involved in the A. I am an extremly sexual person - so was xOM (he was a 25 year old single male, OF COURSE he was sexual). H isn't...at least not as much as I am. He's about 10 years older than me and would rather watch tv than rip each other's clothes off in the kitchen. Yes, I have tried, talking to him about it and even being the agressor myself, no it hasn't worked.

<<<(You do realize you were merely using xOM as a surrogate for hubby's warmth, love, affection and attention, don't you?).>>>

100% right on!

<<>>

No, actually it was about him as a person. Sorry - I guess I'm going through one of those 'phases'. It really aggrevated me that after 4 years he doesn't know me better. I did apologize for biting his head off, as I know he was just trying to think of an aletrnative plan since he knew I wanted to go out. Again, another reason I ran to xOM. H is at the point in life where he is content to stay in on a Friday night and watch movies, while I want to go out and have fun. Compromise, anyone???

Diva




Edited 12/30/2004 5:16 pm ET ET by actressdiva
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-09-2004
Thu, 12-30-2004 - 6:15pm
i use to do the same thing. as soon as H pissed me off, i was gone to OM's. He made me happy. I knew i would be in a good mood as soon as i saw him & that i would be having a great time with him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Thu, 12-30-2004 - 6:30pm

BBari

The only problem with it is that it is a great time that would never survive in the real world dealing the real world life problems that your marriage has had to deal with.

Free

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 12-30-2004 - 10:21pm

Content to stay home and watch movies???????


Uh, I think he needs an attitude adjustment.


"This whole A thing has really made me lose so much of myself and my affection for H. "


I don't think so. I think you're so hot to trot for him you're spun tighter than a tick.....


"I let xOM consume me and take up all my emotions."


Victim, victim, victim.....I would bet ALOT of money those emotions you shared with xOM were just the tip of the iceberg.


Whatever happened to drastic action with hubby? Do they have a Sybaris motel in your area of the country? Here in the Chicago area it's an adult motel chain specifically built for playtime with romance.....


If you really need "compromise" on the movies, have you two watched any "Swedish" films together lately? The ones without any real plot? I believe in the context of your marriage such "study guides" are appropriate. Just be sure to let him know what you're interested in duplicating from the movie with him....


Your hubby's not on Social Security or the Viagra yet, so there is hope!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Bring out the thigh-highs for New years......


cl-nre


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2004
Fri, 12-31-2004 - 10:58am

NRE -

<<>>

This is going to sound stupid, but when I think about xOM, all I feel is confusion.

<<>>

Explanation, please.

<<>>

Unfortunatley, no. He's not into the whole "video" thing, and as far as the thigh highs goes, he's more turned on by a silk sleep shirt than a pair of stilettos!

<<>>

I certainley hope so ;-)

Diva

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 12-31-2004 - 3:23pm
Please check your email.........cl-nre

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