Figured out how to get over the A
Find a Conversation
Figured out how to get over the A
| Wed, 05-12-2004 - 9:02pm |
bright idea # 4,143. . . i think i figured out today how to stop obsessing and get over the A! Divorce my H--become single again, date (available men), fall in love. . .and live happily ever after, right? People that know me, tell me i will have no shortage on supply of dates. I just can't seem to imagine who those folks are right now!!!!
My mother says: why do you need a man so badly. And i reply: because i haven't had one in soooo long. Can you imagine being able to count the number of times you've had sex with your H (in 18 years, mind you) on your hand? I can!! I have!! And then he debates me over the number!!! (it's not 30, he says, it's more like 50!) ei, yi, yi!
Clarice
ps. not sure the caller ID thing was such a good idea afterall. Not ONE SINGLE call on my office line today. SIGH. . . where's xMM? where are all these potential dates? Where are all the folks i write about, for crying out loud!
LOL

Iknowitstime
(and so do you)
My H is nice. he doesn't abuse me. he doesn't yell or scream or stay out all night and drink. up until his own affair last fall, he never had lied to me and been a good provider.
But, i don't love him. we've been living as roomates for 18 years. we get along fine. but there is no connection between us at all. he doesn't give me much to love. he is emotionally and physically and spiritually unavailable. it's as if he is constipated in all areas. the T says he has social anxiety and fear of initiation. he's just not a "complete" person, if that makes any sense. so, my life could be so much worse, you see: my theme song over the last 3 years is Pink Floyd's "Comfortably Numb." That is what i have become--comfortable in this marriage but numb. about 10 years ago, i can remember telling him that i needed him to start "participating" in this marriage. i told him that if he couldn't, i foresaw that all the things that have happened this last year would: that i would simply give up--and i have. but please understand, i have tried and tried and tried and tried.
I do think we will divorce. It's just a long process for me. If i had to give an answer today, i would ask for separation. I know that he and i will be better off. The kids? I don't know. But i am a terrific mom and i will work thru it all with them.