Finally getting in touch with the anger

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2009
Finally getting in touch with the anger
15
Wed, 01-19-2011 - 4:20pm

HI all-

I had a IC appointment today that was truly amazing.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-19-2010
Hey Heartache--
First off CONGRATS on 18 months. That is amazing! And gives such hope to those of us swimming on behind you. :)

And I am happy that you made a breakthrough with your T today. I am like you in that it has been very hard for me to resonate with any anger with my XAP....even though I know I was treated not a whole lot better than dog poo. But every time I think that way my mind tells me that I put myself in the position to be treated that way.

How to reconcile that accountability on our end, with the just down right rotten treatment of people (which I know both XAP and myself engaged in) is such a slippery slope to walk down.

So happy that you are feeling FREE. Embrace it and lets hope it lasts forever!

Peace&light
Foggy
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008

Hi Heart,

Glad you had a good T session and feel like you were able to get all of that anger out. It is not good to hold it in and T is a very safe yet structured environment to let go of it all.

Free!

Love it!

Peace, love and hugs,

E1

Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
Congrats on your anniversary... and your revelations!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2010

Hi Heart...I'm glad that you are become more in touch with your anger towards exAP.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2010

Heartache congratulations on 18 months!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2010
Thu, 01-20-2011 - 12:30am
Heartache 18 months of freedom, that's inspiring, and what a journey you have been on, (i have been following your story).

Congratulations!!

V888
xxxxx
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2009

Thanks Everyone.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2009

Heartache,

You make a very good point about suppressing anger toward XAP.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2010
Thu, 01-20-2011 - 10:06am
Heart - i feel your pain with this - only not only has H's family closed the door to me (not the kids who live with me or H who now lives with them), but many of my own family have closed the door due to my "shaming' our family.

Here's my spin - that gave me peace. It has to be on them. I continue to send photos of the kids, newsletter/updates via email and snail mail because I will NEVER be accused of retaliating in their own methods. I continue to put on a smile and grin and bear it when I have to because they DO still interact with my kids. What they CHOOSE to do - is not my problem. I do not have to give up MY happiness over what they decide to do - because that is MINE.

Easier said than done right? One day at a time - I promise it does get better. I was mad for a while too - but being mad (as you know) is exhausting and after a while I'm just over it. I can't stay that unhappy that long.

You will have to arm yourself mentally - remind yourself when you say "They just don't want to ge over what I've done and continue to treat me as the black sheep" BUT add and that's too bad because I am a good person.

The reality to me is that in truth - we create our own important famililes combined with blood relatives, dear friends and then the rest are just acquaintences - who in the end do not matter. Those who are willing to throw you away - DO NOT MATTER. Tighten your circle of family that DO support you - nurture and support them. Be gracious and loving and give them time - and it will be on them -
YOU have and are doing what you need to do to take care of things and square your life. NO ONE can ask more than that.
Much love
Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2004
Thu, 01-20-2011 - 10:19am
Congratulations Heart on 18 months A free, that is fantastic! Thank you for sharing your T session on feeling anger. I know I go back and forth on feeling anger as I want to own my actions and your post gave me lots to think about. In February I am going to a support group with my Daughter and I think it will be a good starting point for the anger and grief that is
inside of me. I admire your strength and determination
in dealing with difficult family situations, you have held yourself accountable to you and your H and it's sad that some family members are creating more hurts. You are doing so well and I wish you a peaceful day:)

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