Finally getting in touch with the anger
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Finally getting in touch with the anger
| Wed, 01-19-2011 - 4:20pm |
HI all-
I had a IC appointment today that was truly amazing.
| Wed, 01-19-2011 - 4:20pm |
HI all-
I had a IC appointment today that was truly amazing.
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You're right Lolly- That is too bad.
Heart -
You ARE a good person. The way other people deal with the situation is their choice. Hopefully they will eventually find it in their heart to see past everything. I didn't chime in earlier because I don't have any experience with being "ousted" like you have been. You are in my thoughts though. Don't let them get you down. You aren't defined by your past :)
Bodhi
First of all that is a beautiful picture. I can truly relate to the anger phase. It's a part of grieving. I was angry at my XAP because I felt like he should have turned me down when I came on to him. I was angry that he fell into my web of deception. I know deep down that I sort of seduced him but how dare he come after a M woman. My XAP was angry at me because I should have not "tempted" him by winking at him and making body movements when I passed him to let him know that I am available to cheat. That sounds crazy now because it really is crazy. Everyone's angry. Anger is healthy but make sure you always know your part in the A. My XAP is convinced that I pursued him, I was convinced my XAP pursued me and it's all hogwash really. We were two ppl who set out and entered into a forbidden relationship. It took me a long time to get to the place where I understood my XAP's anger. The important thing is that you don't take the obsession you had on your XAP and turn it into another obsession with him which has turned to anger. Force yourself to it really doesn't matter you pursued whom. Both parties in an A are 100% guilty. We were all two consenting adults who knew from day one we were either sharing or being shared.
As far as your in-laws; you can't worry about what they think about you. Continue to be a good person and take extra precautions that you protect your M, your children and yourself from future infedelity. You can't change your past but you can make a better future and you don't want to be that woman who can't control her inhibitions. I know I don't ever intend to be "her" ever again.
Yes, I apologized sincerely, in person to all of them after D-Day.
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