Finally here and sooooo relieved!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Finally here and sooooo relieved!
13
Mon, 03-01-2010 - 10:12am

I've known all along that it was just a matter of time before I would be posting here. I've been sitting on the fence for the past two months, lurking in EAS, posting in MAS. Today,

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Mon, 03-01-2010 - 11:32am

Alwayst,


Major ((Hugs)) and an officially warm welcome to EAS. It's so good to be able to welcome a newcomer who has already reached the decision that is going to be

   ~Iddy~ 


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2009
Mon, 03-01-2010 - 7:02pm

alwayst,
welcome to EAS and congratulations on your decision to stop your
A. you show alot of self-awareness, i think--and that's a very good thing. it seems when we realize that our A's controlled us and made us slaves, there is real hope for change and healing. as a person who tried--and failed---to end an A one year ago, i am back here again, two weeks out of my A. if i have one piece of advice for you it is this---the firm decision and resolve of a new ending is great, but batton down the hatches. the emotional storm is coming--do not let it catch you unaware. the xap fix was a powerful one--else you would not have risked a nearly-30 year marriage to get it. the women here are awesome and amazing---someone will always give you a hand up or a shoulder to cry on. i'm glad you're here.

lillie

silence is eloquent, silence is dignified, silence is heard. ...
silence is eloquent, silence is dignified, silence is heard. ...
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2010
Mon, 03-01-2010 - 7:29pm

Welcome...

Please stick around and know that you have a bunch of people who now have your back....congrats on ending the A, good to have you here instead of MAS. This is a new beginning. We are here to help you thru...Sounds like you know what you need to do and posting here is the best decision you can make to be a successful ender!!

Luvin

Luvin
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Mon, 03-01-2010 - 8:37pm

Thanks for the warm welcome, ladies. By reading through EAS and Healing Library, I know that I very likely will hit some rough patches. I know that feeling of it hurting so bad that you think you can't breathe. I plan to stay busy and post here to get through. Aw hell, I may even cry some more over it. I'm already thinking that the next time he has business my way, maybe I'll meet him for a drink because I think we can be friends. But yeah, maybe not so much. Since we only communicate about once a week these days, he doesn't even know that I've come to this conclusion!! We always promised each other that when one or the other of us comes to our senses, we'd let the other know. So when I do hear from him,

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008
Tue, 03-02-2010 - 2:17am

Sorry had to edit my post because I was multitasking and

Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2010
Tue, 03-02-2010 - 8:48am
Welcome to EAS :) So glad to have you.
Jane
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-18-2010
Tue, 03-02-2010 - 10:07am

Welcome to EAS board!!


My only suggestion would be to not meet him for a drink when he is in town, that is never a good idea....


I am glad you

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Tue, 03-02-2010 - 11:41am
Thanks for the advice, runningrl85. I know you are right. I'd like to think we could have a drink together, but we'd probably have to sit at opposite ends of the bar and send blackberry messages to each other to talk!! I'd like to think because we are both professionals, we could manage to behave, but the truth is both our egos are big enough that we'd end up flirting with each other until one of us caved, just to make sure we still had it!! Talk about twisted, huh?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2009
Tue, 03-02-2010 - 2:04pm

Hello alwayst-


Didn't write the rules, but pretty sure that NC

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Tue, 03-02-2010 - 2:31pm

Hi BD. Thanks for the welcome. I know everyone's situation is different and while most A endings require NC for obvious reasons (which I fully support and agree with), there's always exceptions. I had another A eight years ago when I turned 40 (it was my birthday present to myself since H had completely ignored me and the special day...I know, I'm sick). It ran it's course after about nine months and we both decided it was time to end it. It was more painful for me than him--I do remember that. Anyway,

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