Finally made the break..funny how things

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2004
Finally made the break..funny how things
4
Mon, 11-29-2004 - 3:08pm

work!! Let me just say what an awakening call. To update been 7 months now...tried to limit contact to one day a week then it started out everyday. In the meantime I started dating and met over a period of a couple months this awesome guy!! Well the OMM would tell me all the time that I will NEVER meet anyone that does what he does. We one day talking made a list of all the things I would need to find in a man that he does and believe me that list was long. Well, within a 2 week period this single man I met kept doing one thing after another off the list. It was amazing!! I thought no one else could do those things but the OMM!! And to top it all off this guy was 100 percent available for me 24/7!!

Well, over this 2 week period OMM kept saying we will still be friends but as he saw me get closer and closer to this man i was dating I think he couldn't handle it. How did he expect me to sit around while he went home to his wife and kids everynight. And spent weekends going out to dinners and dancing. Doesn't sound like a trouble marriage to me. Well anyway he called and he said he thinks we should end contact and he should give me our phone back. I agreed and said that I thanked him for everything and I wanted to make a new start with this guy.

But it amazes me...how easily he dropped me after knowing i wasn't sitting around waiting for him...he always said i could put him up against any man and he would win. Well guess what he lost...I wonder if he even is thinking about me...probably not...

I have moments when I am with this other guy that I just start to miss him terribly...it hurts..but then I realize that part of my life is over thank god...I enjoyed it but in a big way wish it never had happened. But I am thankful we were (mainly I) was strong enough to let go...now I can move on..it's a sense of freedom!!! I am hurt in a way that this man didn't pick me. But then again I have this man now who loves me, truly loves me, he says things to me that I would say to the OMM!! I never had a man totally into me like this and let me tell ya girls it's fun to be chased!! It's totally awesome to have someone truly be infatuated with you instead of you chasing the OMM!!

It comes down to the OMM wanting it all, the sexy mistress (even though he would tell me that is not what I am) and the happy family!! And it comes down to US not realizing we deserve it ALL!! I hope I can move on...and the sudden bursts of hurt go away eventually!! Fortunately I have the arms of angel to hold me. By the way this guy knows about the A and what I went through with my divorce and he understands!! Amazing huh??

thanks for listening!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2004
Mon, 11-29-2004 - 3:49pm

Wow, do I know about the OM wanting it all. My OM wanted it all, and then some. Finally took for me to stand my ground and say "you can have it all if that's what you need, with the exception of me, of course".

My pride and self-respect is worth more to me and any man alive. I still love him, but cannot and will not, allow myself to be part of his world, where he gets everything and anyone he wants, without sacrifice. I've done my share of sacrificing for this relationship, and he hasn't sacrificed one damn thing! HUGE wake up call.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2004
Mon, 11-29-2004 - 4:56pm
I'm sorry I know I'm not supposed to post here, but I couldn't resist the erge to tell you YOU GO GIRL!! Good for you don't feel bad for sticking up for yourself, OMM will just have to except his defeat and deal with the fact that he's not your GOD.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2004
Mon, 11-29-2004 - 5:07pm

thank you, thank you!! It's hard...it comes down to me really wanting to say a lot to him but I was such under his control he would of never really listened to me anyhow!! He kept saying that the fact this new guy in my life was buying me dinner and jewlrey and not wanting sex was something not right...well he was dead wrong!! Hard to believe I came so close to making the same mistake twice with controlling men!!

Life is really going to be better...the divorce will eventually be over 2 years max and now I can not hide the phone, waste precious time sneaking around to make a call, feeling up then down!! Right now I am waiting for the new man to come for dinner...and yes he will actually come and we won't have to hide!! That is GREAT!!!

thanks again!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2004
Tue, 11-30-2004 - 8:32am

You know what sweetie, the important thing here is that you are okay with yourself and you feel good about yourself. Believe me coming from a BS it's very hard to say that to OP but people like you give me hope that not everyone is as evil as my H and his OW. You keep up the strength you have and enjoy your new friend, and as for your xMM he's just jelous because he thought he was your world and he found out he's not. Well unfortunately for his W he's never going to change obviously but I'm glad you got yourself out of that snag and can be happy with you for you. Lot's of hugs, and lot's of encouragement coming your way and I really really hope you are happy with this new guy he sounds pretty amazing.

prprincess95