Finally My Answer

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2004
Finally My Answer
1
Tue, 11-30-2004 - 3:39pm

Ok so I was having an affair with one of my best friends boyfriends. It had been going on for about 9 months, with her never having a clue. I felt the need to tell her but I couldn't do It, so I kept it in, after 9 months of him and I being together on the side, him and his girl friend of a year and a half decided they needed a break. I thought great here is my chance to finally be with him, WRONG. I talked to him about my need to tell my friend what had been going on, he said ok but asked if I would wait to tell her until they were officially broken up, I agreed. But the day she told him that there break up was official he told her about the affair. That lead to her of course not talking to me, and her still talking to him, that was hard to understand but I accepted it. It was really hard loseing a close friend, especially when my sister who I live with was still close to her. I tried leaving her messages and text messaging her, but came to the conclusion that she needed time, so I gave it to her. I continued talking to him and seeing him. And found out that they were still having sex, sometimes right before him and I did. That really made me feel like crap, it made me wonder what does she have that I can't give him, I am sure she felt the same way about me. After about a month my friend started to talk to me again I realized that if I wanted her as a friend I had to ditch this guy. I knew that would be really hard for me but I was working on it. Then around the same time he let both me and my friend know that he had a new girlfriend after just 2 days of knowing her, sounds like a solid relationship doesn't it. That was it the answer that I needed to move on. That made My friend and I even closer. Now we find out that his new girl friend is pregnant after them being together less than a month. I hadn't talked to him in about 3 weeks after all the drama I really didn't want to talk to him. Of course I didn't give up with out a fight for the first week I was still calling him then he started putting his new girl on the phone we of course exchanged unkind words, I finally gave up, wished them the best and started dateing again. Then out of the blue he calls me, it was weird because I hadn't been thinking about him the past few weeks but right before he called I couldn't stop thinking about him. So I made the first mistake of answering my phone, he wanted to see me he said it was just as friends, but I knew we had tried to be friends and it really didn't work well, I am so proud of myself I actually said NO to him. I explained that right now I didn't think it was possible for him and I to just be friends I told him that I thought that our feelings for eachother at least on my part were too strong and that maybe later that would be possible but right now he needed to focus on not ruining another relationship. He said that he would never cheat on his new girlfriend because he was going to marry her. I thought to my self yeah right!!! So I leave it at that and I am going to try not to answer his calls. And just learn a lot from this experiance and be happy that I still have my friend. My advise to anyone in a similar situation is end it before you lose it all. Please leave me some advise on how to not think about him.

Thank You
Natalia

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Tue, 11-30-2004 - 8:48pm

Natalia

One way and one way only "NO CONTACT AND TIME".

The boy is nothing but an immature PLAYER getting his jollies screwing with girls heads, leave him in youe dust and move on and never repeat your foolish behavour again, real friend last a life time and you don't risk them for some FOOL.

JMHO

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