Finally, the right thing...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2003
Finally, the right thing...
7
Wed, 01-21-2004 - 9:30pm
Without going into all the gory details of this nightmare of mine (which I already posted about), I had an opportunity to see xmm tonight. He was in town for a job interview. I did not agree to see him. It took every ounce of strength I had to not see him. I figured he would just show up at my house, so I left for a while.

I guess that is a milestone in itself? Feel very strange right now, like maybe this is finally ending once and for all. Kind of numb, actually.

My two year long nightmare may be over and maybe I can start healing in earnest now.

All I can do is hope and pray.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2003
Wed, 01-21-2004 - 9:55pm
this is huge! congratulations. it took a lot of strength for you.

This is a milestone and a turning point for you. It was hard but you've got to feel really proud of yourself!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2003
Wed, 01-21-2004 - 10:06pm
GOOD FOR YOU!!!!!!! That numb feeling will disappear in a short while and you will be so glad, for what you did. Stay strong and remember you did the RIGHT thing.


TCOM

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2003
Wed, 01-21-2004 - 11:18pm
i remember reading your post, and you have been through so much......this is a huge step for you in the right direction......making a choice like that is so self-affirming.....it says "I don't have to settle for getting so much less than I'm giving....I deserve so much better than that..."....AND YOU DO !!!

of course it feels strange......it feels strange for you to be making decisions that are based on what's best for you....and it feels strange to choose to say NO! to the insanity of the affair behavior....and it feels strange to choose to put yourself first, where you belong......

you deserve so much more.....stay strong, and seek support wherever you can while you are going through the ending and healing process......i have found it immensely helpful to read and post here, speak to my most supportive friends (who know everything, of course), continue in therapy, and have found some great books on helpful related topics......i haven't made it to the "other side" yet, but i'm at 38 days of NC and i can tell you the numbness you're talking about does get better......there is hope!.......hugs to you.....ada

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2003
Thu, 01-22-2004 - 5:44am
Thank you for the support. Still feeling numb. He did call and leave a message that he is back home now.

Now, time to put myself together again. This ending has been the longest, most drawn out thing I have ever been through. My divorce was easier than this has been and I was married for 22 years.

Yes, time to be selfish and concentrate on me. This board has been a godsend and I will continue coming here to help get the strength I need to continue doing the right thing. My next move may be to change my home phone number. I have received dozens, if not hundreds, of hangups over the last few months. He denied it, but they continued. I will give it some time yet to stop, but will change the number if necessary.

Thank you again.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2003
Thu, 01-22-2004 - 11:37pm
caller ID is the best invention for those of us working on NC! I love it -- I also screen calls to avoid talking to my Ex -- I just say "boys, it's your dad, answer the phone!" Works better for everyone!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2003
Fri, 01-23-2004 - 7:05am
Caller ID is good and he knows I have it on my cell phone, hence no hangups on that. That is a thought though for the home phone. I have considered it, but am pinching pennies so much...... Will definitely rethink that one.... No caller ID at work and I have a private line, but he has not been making very many to that lately. Just need to get the home ones to stop.

Good for the ex too... don't care to talk to him much either!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2003
Fri, 01-23-2004 - 11:57am
IAT:

This was a big step for you. Be very proud of your self okay? The situation is in your control and you have the power to end this and find some happiness for yourself. You are strong and deserve the best!! Hang in there and congrats on your big step!!!

Karry

Karry - - who is learning to embrace life on her own raising her miracle, Carley Paige