Finally told the truth

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2003
Finally told the truth
6
Thu, 04-24-2003 - 12:15pm
Last night I told my partner that I had stayed in contact with OW for 7 months by email. It was extremely difficult. Thank god we have therapy today! But, my partner was amazingly calm and collected, despite being hurt and angry.

It feels pretty sh*tty at this point..I mean,I'm scared and a whole myriad of other emotions, but I am also relieved and feel like I'm back on the path that I want to be on...like I am finally making the effort to be the person I want to be, which is honest and open no matter the consquences.

BTW, I just want to clarify that I am in a lesbian relationship. I believe that there may have been some confusion as to what gender I am because I am writing about "OW". Hopefully, this is not an exclusively heterosexual chat?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 04-24-2003 - 12:48pm
Cecemae - I'm glad your partner took it well, or at least as well as you could hope... please let us know how therapy goes today...

And of course this board is not only for heterosexuals or only women or men... what we've gone through in struggling to end an affair is what draws us all together.

Hugs

Glinda

Avatar for casey055
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 04-24-2003 - 1:01pm
I agree and good luck with your therapy!

Casey

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 04-24-2003 - 1:45pm
Yes, I believe congratulations are in order. Cece, it took a strong woman to open up to your partner. You've made a big step in repairing your relationship.

And, I have to agree with the others. This board is not just for women, just for men, just for heterosexuals, or just homosexuals. Admittedly, you are of a minority here, but, as the rest of have gone through the ordeal of an affair, so have you. It's the affair and what we are going through in trying to get out of it, get over it, get beyond it, and rebuild our lives that brings us all here. You are very welcome to hang out here with us.

~Chris~

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2003
Thu, 04-24-2003 - 1:59pm
Thank you all so much for being supportive and welcoming! I cannot tell you how much I appreciate that and how much I appreciate this board in general.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2003
Fri, 04-25-2003 - 10:51am
The therapy session was tough, but it was very much needed (and worth my own discomfort). I felt sorry for our therapist. She had tears in her eyes at one point...we've been seeing her for almost a year and then this! Back to square one in some ways. BUT, I think her assessment of the situation was correct, that my partner and I have a fairly good chance of making it through this time and healing.

I am always amazed by my partner's ability to remain calm and rational despite the anger and hurt I have caused her. Part of it, I know, is because she also had an affair (and come to find out maintained contact longer than she had told me via email...which was interesting to hear) and has some perspective on why it happens and its meanings. She knows it isn't about her, but about my own stuff.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 04-25-2003 - 12:53pm
Cecemae

I'm SO glad the session went well. And I REALLY hope your therapist is right and that you two will make it through this... Sounds like a lot of important things were said...

Good luck to both of you. You are a wise woman to know that an affair is about what's going on inside of you... that's a hard lesson to figure out and work on.

Glinda