First day of NC after 4 years

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2003
First day of NC after 4 years
4
Mon, 06-28-2004 - 11:42am
Well after 4 years I think I am really going to do it this time. I finally realized that no matter how much he promises he is never leaving. I realized that I do not even want him to. He is so mean to me, all he does is tells me I am no good, I need to respect him more, I need to be more understanding, he ALWAYS puts me down, I don't get it, if I am that bad why does HE even bother with the relationship? I know I am the best he will ever get, we shared things together he only dreamed of, he chased me for years before I finally gave in and NOW he has me and all he does is beat me down, I dont get it, if in his mind he thinks all these terrible things about me that he is always telling me, why is he with me? Why doesnt he let me walk away? Well regardless, I am done, I deserve so much more than the crumbs I get from this man. Do they ever regret treating you so bad or do they just move right on to the next? I think that is the hardest part for me to leave, I dont think he will miss me, how sick is that??
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 06-28-2004 - 5:21pm

You leave for YOUR sanity, not his.....


Please remember that.


You leave because you have the right to a full time relationaship with someone who doesn't tell lies to make time for you.


Please remember that.


Whatever your EX-MM thinks after yu leave is his business, not yours.


You have a life. A single life. With opportunities. EX-MM already knows he could be with you IF he really wanted to be. He doesn't and didn't do what was necessary to have a full life with you. He only wanted a small part of you.....


Time to move on to someone who wants ALL of you.


And speaks kindly to you.


It wasn't a game for you. You were a prize for him to win.......that's why he chased you for so long. He wanted and enjoyed the chase. It was the life afterward he couldn't live in. No matter what he told you to keep you hooked.


You still left.


For yourself and self-esteem.


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2003
Mon, 06-28-2004 - 7:00pm
Thank you, it still hurts but I know in time it will get easier. I have been hurting off and on for 4 years, I just want the pain to stop forever and this is the only way!
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Mon, 06-28-2004 - 10:31pm


You were not put in this world to be abused by XMM you were put here to be loved by a real man and to love back.

F

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2004
Tue, 06-29-2004 - 8:00am
Fooled - I just wanted to let you know that my heart goes out to you. From what you said, it sounds like this man doesn't deserve another second of your time. I know that it is hard, but you have to move on. What he has done to your self-esteem and the way he has made you feel is unforgivable. You need to reclaim some of the power and strength that he has taken away from you over these 4 years.

I wish you all the best as you move on without OM. Your life will be much better for it.

-Circe