first post on this board..Hi Karen!! :-)
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| Thu, 02-19-2004 - 12:25pm |
So much has happened in the past year.
Finally got divorced (was final in July) after being married to the wrong person for 19 years.... thought I could stay in it for the kids sake remember? Learned in counseling that staying for kids sake was WRONG. I ended the affair that lasted 6 years..(remember, his w found out and he had to put me on "hold' for a while?) BTW...he was also staying married for his kids sake. Anyway, was painful as heck and some of my favorite people decided that I needed a pleasure trip which I went on and BAM!!!!! I met Mr. Wonderful! This someone wonderful was also married 19 yrs, staying miserable for kids sake...yada-yada-yada.... NOT DOING THIS AGAIN I THOUGHT, not in a trillion years, not for millions, not for chocolate!
Well, it happened. I fell head over heals in love with this someone wonderful and he fell equally as hard. LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT! Never believed in it, never believed in soulmates, nor did I believe in the institution of marriage. Do you remember that I would never ever marry again if I ever ended up divorced? HE felt the same way and he had also had an EMA..... WEll...... it happened!
I thought I was in love with the MM I had for 6 years. I thought he was in love with me.
Guess what? If it were real love, we'd be together now. When the love is real, nothing can mute it. Within 4 days he and I knew we could not live w/o one another. We did everything together, including filing for divorce on the same day! To make a long story very short, we are blissfully married and all 6 of our kids ages 9-18 are doing well!
Life is too short to let it go on being miserable.
Love is GREAT and nothing can or will put it aside when it is REAL!
Don't give up gals..just get very picky. If it doesn't feel right then LET IT GO.
If it's right, it won't hurt and it will only get better. When it's right, nothing but you will come first!
Wow.... I actually came on this board to look for a poem I read a long long time ago here.
Something about 'kisses not being promises...' Was looking for this for a good friend who is ending her affair with a man who is staying in it for the kids....
Can anyone shed any light on this poem?
Thanks!
Annie

I'm so gald you are doing good. I'm on my way. Do you ever talk to Georgie? How is she doing?
E-mail me karenjo@baylorhealth.edu
I was the one who posted that poem about 'kisses not being promises' - a long time ago. It's me, Bird, and I'm (unfortunately) still around. You give me courage with your story. I have not been as successful as you. I am going on 5 years with my affair and trying to grow out of it gracefully. I'm now recently thinking that everyone is right and there is no way to gracefully exit. I wish I would meet someone 'real' like you. I managed to get legally divorced last summer after a 3 year separation. I agree... people do not deserve to stay in a loveless marriage for the sake of kids and death do us part. I finally realized that one. My MM did too for a brief 8 months when he moved in with me...he got scared of change...moved back home and has been there ever since. What a cakeman! He eats cake for the the sake of his kids. Yeah...ok...whatever.
I am so happy that you have landed yourself a fantastic life. I won't be able to post over the weekend. But, I will bring the poem in on Monday (I hope I can find it) and repost it. Check back then or search through the archives.
Good to hear from you again. Stick around. You are inspiration.
Bird
After Awhile . . .
After awhile you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul.
And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning and company doesn't mean security.
And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't promises.
And you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes open, with the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child.
And you learn to build all your roads today because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans. And futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
After awhile you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much.
So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure... that you really are strong and you really do have worth.
And you learn and learn and learn...with every goodbye you learn.