The First Test - He Called...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2010
The First Test - He Called...
17
Tue, 05-18-2010 - 9:55am

Good morning wonderful EAS ladies.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2009
Tue, 05-18-2010 - 10:06am

Panda!!!! you did it!!!! Yea for you, Grrrrl! that is awesome and I am very, very proud of you.

I hope he's able to call your office phone only because it's impossible for you to block numbers? If that is not the case, you need to get that number blocked, ok?

You're shaken up, and that is to be expected. Ride it out, and focus only on how proud you should be of yourself. Don't give a second thought as to why he may have contacted you; there is absolutely no good reason (not even death) for him to call you. He is out of your life. And, ok, now you got that fishing attempt you thought you wanted -- how did it feel once you got past the initial ego stroke? Icky? Work on why you thought you still needed validation from JAM about your worthiness to be harassed by him ("fishing" is "harassing" once you get your perspective in check.)

Again, super proud of you and hope you have a wonderful 23rd day of NC.
Dee

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2010
Tue, 05-18-2010 - 10:10am

Panda- this is HUGe. It took incredible will not to answer that phone. I am so proud of you at 22 days. I don't think I would have been strong enough at 22 days to do that. So, now you know you can do it. Now you don't have to deal with any reopened wounds that talking to him may have caused. You can take solace in your strength and commitment to NC. I am so so proud of you.


Hugs,


Jane
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2010
Tue, 05-18-2010 - 12:16pm

Aww Dee and Jane, thank you so much for replying!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2010
Tue, 05-18-2010 - 3:05pm
Second Test.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Tue, 05-18-2010 - 8:55pm

Panda,


I can't begin to tell you how proud I am of you. That took tremendous control on your part just sitting there listening to it ring, let alone not picking up. Something inside of you was stopping your hand from lifting that receiver whether it be a renewed self respect, a silent satisfaction that JAM reached out, or a simmering anger that will eventually pour out when you least expect it. Whatever it was, you intuitively knew that answering that phone was going to end up hurting like hell. I can't say it enough....you did it, and every single gal on this board should be kowtowing to you. ;-) The example you just set is one that I wait patiently every day to read on here. Thank you for honoring yourself because in return you are honoring the wisdom shared on this board.


Much love and hugs,

   ~Iddy~ 


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2010
Tue, 05-18-2010 - 8:59pm

You're super!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2010
Tue, 05-18-2010 - 9:36pm

Dear PandaBear,

I am clapping for you and grinning from ear to ear!

I KNOW that moment ... that moment when you are faced with the decision to either look back or believe in what feels like a very uncertain future. Well -- you looked forward and in doing so, made that uncertain future take on more of a shape.

I am so proud of you. I know it wasn't easy. And I bet in the next day or so lots of feelings are going to be paying you a visit. Lots of what the? why the? how could he? Likely, the good, bad & the ugly. But take pride in knowing your gut instinct was to run from the fire instead of into it.

Hugs to you,

TU.

LC/NC since April 14, 2010
LC/NC since April 14, 2010

"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it."
— Maya Angelou
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2009
Tue, 05-18-2010 - 10:09pm

Woot! You go GIRL!


Does it not feel empowering to not answer?

NC since Dec. 9th 2009

No Contact = No N

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-10-2010
Wed, 05-19-2010 - 12:37am

I would give anything to know that he even cared that I was alive.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2009
Wed, 05-19-2010 - 12:54am

Keepswimming,

Give it time. Please don't be jealous. The grass isn't always greener on the other side. To be frankly honest, yes, in the beginning I did find some enjoyment in knowing he thought of me and I was denying him. I did get satisfaction in knowing that I told his wife everything. But it was short lived.

7 weeks is not a long time. Give it time, he is probably waiting. But don't be so eager to wish he would contact you. Because then what? It takes great strength to deny him. You don't want him fishing at a time when you are weak, and you don't want him to catch you in a weak moment.

Believe me - I been around these boards (EAS & MAS) long enough to know that these married men DO fish - give them time. Some do it even a year after NC.

But be careful what you wish for...

NC since Dec. 9th 2009


No Contact = No New Hurts


Silence is Golden; Silence is Dignified; Silence speaks volumes.



Remember: Out of sight, out of mind.

NC since Dec. 9th 2009

No Contact = No N

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