First time here in ages....What happened to the boards?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2011
First time here in ages....What happened to the boards?
10
Sat, 12-29-2012 - 10:36pm

I haven't been on here in a loooong time and am so disappointed in the new boards.  I have read a few posts and see that I'm not the only one that isn't impressed. :)  I came back here tonight because I really wanted to search for some old posts of mine that I NEED to read and I can't figure out how to search. :( 

JWIA

Sometimes you just have to die a little inside in order to be reborn and rise again as a stronger and wiser version of you!
Avatar for wClarity
Community Leader
Registered: 11-04-2012

Hiya JWIA!

Where do I begin.  What I think happened is that ivillage's contract with Litium ran out and rather than re-sign up, ivillage thought they could take it on.  Big mistacky whacky so far. We went right into glitches-galore, nightmare mode.  I don't believe the archives survived...and our Healing Library went down in flames pretty much...particular painful to lose was the Wisdom and Insights Thread. Problems with people logging in from their phones, posting, seeing responses, getting their avatars, signatures...a real mess.  I know that ivillage folks are working diligently and Hurricane Sandy didn't help their efforts (their Headquarters are in NYC)...some might have even had to evacuate their homes...yes, a real nightmare for those poor folks.  Some new problems have recently popped up as well.  I myself have to log in 3 times now to get here.  I had to make a whole new email account to attach a new ivillage account to get to my preferences and get back my avator.

If you want to get a real handle on some of the problems, or, if you have problems yourself, head over to iVillage Help — iVillage and post in your issue(s).

All that side, how the heck are you!  Give us an update, why dontcha :)

((hugs))

Clarity

Community Leader,

Ending an Affair Support Board

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2011

Oh no!  I would give my right arm to read some of my old posts tonight...lol.  I received soooo much wisdom before & some good kicks in the a** when I needed it the most. Wink

An update....You probably don't want to know.  NC has been broken & I'm trying to get myself back on track...which is why I wanted to read those old posts.  Yep, I went through hell to make it 6 months NC just to throw all that effort away...sigh.  

Sometimes you just have to die a little inside in order to be reborn and rise again as a stronger and wiser version of you!
Avatar for wClarity
Community Leader
Registered: 11-04-2012

C'mon...tell Clarity all about it.  What happened?  If you can't be a good example, at least be a good bad example...hah...no, really, it'll help newbies recognize the potential bumps in the road and what not to do.  

Let us know what's going on so we can support you...I know you are here because you need to be.

((hugs))

Clarity

Community Leader,

Ending an Affair Support Board

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2011

Lol...being a bad example...I'm a pro at that. Laughing  No, seriously, I had made it 6 months with NC and the PA had been over for almost 10 months.  I was over the emotional crying/screaming withdrawals...Life was great.  Sure I still cared for him, but he wasn't in my daily thoughts anymore.  And I was actually proud of who I had become from all of this...As bad as an A is I will say that I learned things about myself that were good. And I am a happier person post A than I was pre A.  

Yet, for some reason...I broke NC.  And he was pretty happy to hear from me...yada, yada, yada...we all know what happened next.  So, here I am now.  Knowing that my feelings for him haven't changed at all....but I am MUCH smarter than I was before.  I am fighting myself on this one because I've been down this road before and don't want to travel it again.  I remember how my heart was broken and I wanted to die....I remember all the times I spent crying on my RL friend's couch...I remember how attached I got to him...how I suffered physical withdrawals.  So, even though I screwed up....I'm not lost. Smile

Sometimes you just have to die a little inside in order to be reborn and rise again as a stronger and wiser version of you!
Avatar for wClarity
Community Leader
Registered: 11-04-2012

"for some reason"....hmmmm  And what reason might that be?  Yikes...I sound like my mother.  But really, did you figure out that reason?  Because 'for some reason' is going to keep rearing it's ugly head.   

Are you now back in your affair?  I guess that's the big question. 

Clarity

Community Leader,

Ending an Affair Support Board

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2011

Am I back in the A?  I honestly don't know how to answer that question...I guess I'm trying to figure that one out myself.  Have we been in contact?  Yes  Have we met?  Yes  Are we currently in contact or have plans to meet again?  no  

Sometimes you just have to die a little inside in order to be reborn and rise again as a stronger and wiser version of you!
Avatar for wClarity
Community Leader
Registered: 11-04-2012

but but but you said you were smarter now.  So now, I don't really understand what that means.

Community Leader,

Ending an Affair Support Board

Avatar for ratherbeme
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2010

What are you waiting for? What do you want?

Do you think you can fool everone, forever?

It's all about you. What choices do you want to make?

We only miss what could have been. I know I don't miss what it really was.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2011

Clarity ~ The reason I know that I'm smarter now than I was before is because I haven't jumped full force back into the A. Yes, I screwed up and met him....but one screw up doesn't mean total loss.  I haven't been in contact with him and we don't have plans to meet anymore. And it is just sheer willpower that is keeping that from happening.  It is me digging deep into the knowledge I gained when I went through this last time.  I admit that I made a big mistake by opening up to him again at all...but it happened.  

RBM~ Those are good questions and I know we can't fool everyone forever.  I know we were lucky before to not get caught and more than likely we wouldn't be so lucky in the future.  What do I want?  My heart wants him....but my mind knows that it won't end any differently this time than it did last time....I'm going to get hurt no matter what...I'm already hurt and we aren't even back in the A.  

Sometimes you just have to die a little inside in order to be reborn and rise again as a stronger and wiser version of you!
Avatar for wClarity
Community Leader
Registered: 11-04-2012

good good good.  Now, I'm with clarity Laughing I wasn't sure if the affair door was left open and it was just a matter of someone on either side making contact to make contact.  And I wasn't sure if being smarter meant trying to remain smarter in affair expections.

And yes, we can all make a mistake and fall back in...but what makes us smarter next time around is the ability to go to, and use, the tools we've gained under our belts...good you are doing that.

Stay close to the Board, JWIA...you need to be here for strength and resolve.  White knuckling it is no fun...no fun at all.

((hugs))

Clarity

Community Leader,

Ending an Affair Support Board