You said it, 8 years is a long time to live a double life. I put in that much time myself and it IS exhausting. Your AP has shown you over and over that he won't honor your request for NC. It's up to you. You know you can't contact him for any reason. Regarding his W and daughter, you'll have to distance yourself from them too. The one thing on your side is the physical distance. If his W contacts you, keep it short - she'll probably just think you've grown apart. You are playing with fire - read the thread in the HL about d-days if you haven't already. Don't let the universe (or this JAM) decide your future. You said yourself that you have a wonderful H. Step it up and take charge of your life. You don't owe AP or his family anything. I'm glad that you have been reading here, and even more happy that you've posted! We'll be here to help you along the way.
I think you are doing very well with NC, so keep it up. Good idea on hiding him on FB. Hate to admit it but I have hidden friends too because they are just plain annoying. ;-) The geographical distance will help you to get past this, and if you have to communicate with the daughter and W, just keep it light and friendly. Do not offer any information about what's going on in your life.
Your Xmm will eventually get the message that you are serious about this being over with, but in the mean time, you need to work on yourself and uncover your own motives for having an A. We all have deeper issues that need to be addressed, or we wouldn't have chosen this self destructive path.
Keep reading, especially our HL, and know that with time and NC, you will be able to put this all behind you someday.
Welcome to EAS, and don't be a stranger. We are all here to help and support one another.
Welcome :)
You said it, 8 years is a long time to live a double life. I put in that much time myself and it IS exhausting. Your AP has shown you over and over that he won't honor your request for NC. It's up to you. You know you can't contact him for any reason. Regarding his W and daughter, you'll have to distance yourself from them too. The one thing on your side is the physical distance. If his W contacts you, keep it short - she'll probably just think you've grown apart. You are playing with fire - read the thread in the HL about d-days if you haven't already. Don't let the universe (or this JAM) decide your future. You said yourself that you have a wonderful H. Step it up and take charge of your life. You don't owe AP or his family anything. I'm glad that you have been reading here, and even more happy that you've posted! We'll be here to help you along the way.
Bodhi
I think you are doing very well with NC, so keep it up. Good idea on hiding him on FB. Hate to admit it but I have hidden friends too because they are just plain annoying. ;-) The geographical distance will help you to get past this, and if you have to communicate with the daughter and W, just keep it light and friendly. Do not offer any information about what's going on in your life.
Your Xmm will eventually get the message that you are serious about this being over with, but in the mean time, you need to work on yourself and uncover your own motives for having an A. We all have deeper issues that need to be addressed, or we wouldn't have chosen this self destructive path.
Keep reading, especially our HL, and know that with time and NC, you will be able to put this all behind you someday.
Welcome to EAS, and don't be a stranger. We are all here to help and support one another.
((Hugs))
Iddy & Brodi - Thank you for your encouragement!
OMWB: