The first week
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| Fri, 06-03-2005 - 2:40pm |
This has been a hard week, everything that could go wrong has. The pain I feel from ending this A has doubled and I have never felt so isolated and lonely as I do now. Where are those strong feelings of empowerment now? I tried to make contact and he refuses to answer and who can blame him, this is what I asked for and he is finally giving it to me, if my emotions had not got the best of me and I could have distanced myself from him I would still be in it now, all I know now is it hurts and I miss him, but settling on being just a small part of his work day isnt an option, for me anymore.
I want to get back to the place I was mentally before him and now it feels as if life will never be the same again, I want the memories to dim so that my dreams are not haunted with his image....
Letting go has been the hardest thing I have had to do in sometime, there are so many reminders everywhere I turn ....
The finally knowing that it is over is settling in my mind it is the acceptance of it all that I am fighting , I know he couldnt have loved me as he professed over and over , if it was real and it was love on his part he would have moved heaven earth to give me what I needed
Imagine

Imagine,
I know you are hurting big time right now. It never feels good to be rejected by anyone. There are a few reasons he may not be responding to you. HE could still be feeling rejected by you and hurt himself and not ready to talk about it. OR, maybe he is tired and worn out from the whole A. It gets to the point with BOTH men and women that the hassle and emotional up's and down's simply aren't worth the energy to keep the A on life support any longer.
I TRY to give the OMM the benefit of the doubt whenever possible but it's a fact that for the most part, men can compartmentalize their feelings for the OW and push aside the hurt and concentrate on other things in their lives which in turn helps them to heal at a faster rate than we can. It doesn't mean that they DON'T hurt, or care any less, it's just the way they are wired. We (women) tend to over analyze situations and try to figure them out. If a man can't fix a problem, he'd just assume walk away from it and get on with life.
Try to think that he has actually done you a favor. Do you really want to be wrapped up in the pain, guilt and feelings of low self esteem that being in a dysfunctional relationship brings? Logically you KNOW this is the first step in the healing process and the first step towards real happiness.
Last week I posted the link to an article on the 4 stages of grief. I suggest you read it, over and over. It helped me so much to realize that what I had been feeling was simply a normal part of the grieving process. You have lost a loved one and it will take time to get over that, allow yourself that time and don't place expectations too high that you will just "snap out of it."
One more thing, as time goes by you will realize it's not HIM so much that you miss, it's the illusion of happiness and the way he *sometimes* made you feel. I'm sorry you are hurting but know that time will make things better.
Hope this helps a little
Hugs
~CGU
imagineus,
all this pain shall pass, i know it is very hard but in time is will get better, its all lies and u know it or else we all wont be here
give it some time, let yourself feel the pain and grieve , your gonna be ok
focus on yourself now
take care,
max