Five steps that might help
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Five steps that might help
| Sat, 11-21-2009 - 6:37pm |
Hi All,
I'm two weeks into NC and thought I'd just share some things that I've stumbled onto doing that actually seem to be working. I should tell you that I was in A for five years

Great post utbn!
Unfortunately, there are some of us that don't have any "bad things" to reflect on concerning xap.
This is a great post and I'm wishing it could be brought down to the Healing Library so others can contribute too.
Good point about de-sensitizing. We had "our" song (as many couples do). I still remember so vividly - this song playing, us dancing in my house, him whispering on my ear that he loves me.
Long gone.
And long after, I couldn't listen to this song without tears. And then I started playing it over and over in my car on my way to and from work - almost an hour drive, until it became nothing but "a song". Nothing special to me. Just like this man - he meant something sometime back in my life, but not anymore. Do I remember him and that night in my house, us dancing and him whispering on my ear that he loves me? Of course. God, I loved him. Him and everything about him.
Does it make me cry? No, the feeling is gone. GONE. And I love the word.
UTBN-
GREAT post!
Gal...
I'm so glad it helped! Totally on the same page with you on not being able to stick to NC in the past. It is so easy to forget the pain and just MISS him. I have a hard time staying mad...then I get sad....and then eventually he always calls and I'm so damn happy to hear his voice, I go right back like nothing bad ever happened. This time I guess he finally made me mad enough that I don't WANT to think about the good things...I don't WANT to give him a pass...I don't WANT to find excuses for his inexcusable behavior and disrespect towards me...I DO want him to get out of my head and not come back so I started not letting myself think about anything good where he is concerned. They don't deserve for us to make all the sacrifices while they just come and go at their whim and it SHOULD piss us off...then we should be able to use their own careless actions to get over their dumb a**es.
I am making progress...I didn't cry AT ALL this morning on my way to work (first time) and I actually sat through an entire, hour-long management meeting and didn't think about him
Thank you for the wonderful words.
From someone who is out of the A and the fog...I can tell you your strategy is right on.
And as Energy said, some might not have bad memories of xAP and in my case, my xAP really isn't a bad guy.
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