The Fog and a Dream

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2010
The Fog and a Dream
1
Wed, 06-16-2010 - 1:02pm

It's a bit foggy up here today. Even after an hour and a half workout, the fog is still a bit dense. Maybe it is because I dreamt of him last night. I have not dreamt of him much....maybe 3 or 4 times during our 3 year A. Even then, the first few minutes of the dream were of us being together, and then me having to go somewhere. We would kiss and say "I'll catch up with you later". Then my dream would proceed on to some other crazy Daliesque realm!

This time though, the dream was quite scary. VERY scary. I was in a house. ExAP lived there with his family. We were having an Affair under his roof, but his wife did not know about it. One night, they had found out that his baby daughter had died. He had to leave to go comfort his wife and son. He was quite upset too. I wanted to comfort him, but knew that this was not the time to do so. I peeked into the room he was in to check on him and he was laying in the bed with his wife and son trying to go to sleep. He looked up and smiled at me and I closed the door. The next day, his wife and son had to go to the funeral home to talk to them about arrangements. ExAP stayed behind with me. He was cutting up some food to make dinner and the knife slipped and cut his throat. He fell on the floor and was asking for help. Instead of helping him, I finished him off. I then freaked out about what I did. I did not want his wife to come home and find him. So I started to dismember his body and hide the parts. His wife came back sooner than expected, so I had to hide the parts in boxes. She asked me how I was doing. I put on a fake smile and said "oh, just fine"! Then I asked who was the guy she was with. She said "oh, he is just a "friend"". Turns out she was cheating on him too. So then she asked where ExAP was. I said "I think he left". She said "well, his car is still here". I said "oh, he must have gone out for a run". Then I went upstairs to continue to hide the body parts.

I woke up sweating and freaked out! So I did some research online into some dream meanings. Mostly the dismemberment, because that disturbed me the most. This is what I found:

Dismembered limbs – Something or someone has been or needs to be severed from your life. The anxiety that causes this dream is from your pain over the separation. Either something or someone has left your life that you wanted to hold onto or you know a separation needs to happen but you are afraid to act on it.

Dead babies – A terrible image but an important one. A project, a relationship, something that you cared about that was just getting started has suddenly ended. Your dream is trying to show you this isn’t something you can revive so you are best moving on.

Murder - A need to forcibly put an end to something in your life such as a bad relationship, an addiction, a bad behavior, an issue that is not good for you OR a desire to change something about someone around you.

Wow. My subconscious was talking to me last night!

However, now I find myself thinking about him even more! Even though I know that what I am doing is right. It is taking all my effort today to not contact him. However, after I post this, I am going to go and keep myself busy and productive. I have a billion and ten errands to run and I think most may get done!

Sorry so long....just needed to write!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2009
Wed, 06-16-2010 - 6:27pm

HI-


After reading your post, the most disturbing thing to me is that you had an hour and half workout!