Four weeks today

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2010
Four weeks today
11
Fri, 07-02-2010 - 8:49am

Four weeks of NC.
Four weeks since I turned 50.
Two weeks since I found the EAS board.

Had a low point the other night and wanted to send an email to xAP, but didn't. What stopped me was a lot of things, but mostly all the discussions on this board. So many things ran through my mind, wait 48 hours, NC is the only way to truly heal and what did I expect to gain from contact? I don't want to start up the A again, nothing more needs to be said, too afraid that xAP's W would go to my H and I'd have a hellacious D-day, so I waited through the desire to contact him and it passed. I still have thoughts of him everyday, still have anger, but hopefully that will all fade with time. I'm trying to put my marriage back together and its a struggle for me, but think one day at a time.

Found out xAP is not taking supervisory job where I work. I breathed a sign of relief last night.

So, today with four weeks of NC, I'm feeling good.

MovingON

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2010
Sat, 07-03-2010 - 5:53pm

Iddy,

Did turning 50 play a role in taking back my life by starting NC? I wish I could say that was key, but it was the first day after the last text and ironically, it was my 50th birthday.

I'm sure my A was a result of a mid-life crisis, and I'm still in the middle of it, but at least the A part of the crisis is DONE. Now to try and figure out the other issues that are still driving the crisis.

Opportunity allowed me the A, and now that I realize that, I can hopefully avoid that situation in the future. I am blessed in the fact that H and I did not have a D-Day. Truly blessed and have decided not to live in fear of xAP's wife and her retaliation. I will deal with it if it happens.

Tomorrow is our country's independence day, and my independence day was a month earlier on the 4th. :)

Movingon at 50! Yeah!

MovingON

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