Freaking out!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2010
Freaking out!
11
Fri, 01-07-2011 - 3:32pm

Help!

So I'm working from home today, all peaceful and stuff with my peaceful feelings of new freedom and living in truth and integrity and not being a homewrecker. It's Friday, I have my kids this weekend and I'm starting to feel better about myself and my decision to cut him off, etc. I am on a new regime to lose some extra pounds and have been eating better and not having any alcohol....well just as soon as I start to make progress, guess who decides to pay a visit today?

I'm here working in the living room with my laptop and i hear my mailbox slam. I just think it's the mailman so I keep working. Then... in about 5 min, I go to the mailbox and it's a gift. It's a bag with a CD inside of it of some music we had kind of discovered together and that I recently talked about on my blog. His note on it said that he was thankful for something I had written for him last summer and "thanks for being you

Love, Sunshine Dedicated to living my new life with integrity, truth and positive thoughts! I am worthy of true love and definitely worth the wait!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2010
Fri, 01-07-2011 - 3:50pm
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2010
Fri, 01-07-2011 - 4:42pm
Thanks Mom. My emotional brain is having trouble seeing that but my logical brain is starting to .
Love, Sunshine Dedicated to living my new life with integrity, truth and positive thoughts! I am worthy of true love and definitely worth the wait!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2010
Fri, 01-07-2011 - 5:08pm

(((Sunshine)))

OMG, I am so sorry you are suffering this emotional upheaval. I agree--what a JERK. If you made it perfectly clear that the A was over, then he, indeed, is being entirely selfish and only thinking of himself.

I would slap him upside the head if I knew how to find him!!

Get a grip on yourself and understand that he does NOT have the power to set you back. Yes, you are shaken to the core, but you have not gone backward at all, my friend, unless you allow yourself to.

Oct. 12, 2010 -- began my personal search and rescue mission.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2009
Fri, 01-07-2011 - 5:11pm

Sunshine,

Okay, just a week ago you deleted him from your cell phone and blocked his #. So, he couldn't call anymore and talk your ear off about his W, what he's been up to, and all of the other things that don't include you in the conversation. Remember how much that upset you?

Be where you are; otherwise you will miss your life. ~ Buddha
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2009
Fri, 01-07-2011 - 5:16pm

SFF stands for "So F-g Funny". Being the SFF clown that he is, makes perfect sense.

I am with Always - it's not romantic, it's rude and selfish for him to intrude in your life when you made it clear you want nothing of it. Throw away the CD and go back to your life which is going on just fine without him.

Love,

Gone

**Bloodied but unbowed**
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2010
Fri, 01-07-2011 - 7:44pm

Hey Sunshine,

I love what Iddy says:

6 Feeling highly of you? Hello? You are/were his OW. Where is that thinking highly of someone? He is only thinking of what he's not getting from you anymore, and so he decided to toss out a little sentimental bait, hoping you will bite.

Sunshine, He misses you, the sex, everything you gave him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010
Fri, 01-07-2011 - 8:31pm

You are my sunshine,

My only sunshine.

You make me HAPPY when skies are grey

Youll never know Dear, How much I love you,

Please dont let that MTHR F*9KN JERK FACE JAM A$$ HO*E FAT PIG

TAKE YOU AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2010
Fri, 01-07-2011 - 10:14pm
Sunshine,

TWO things okay?

"One thing that you have to keep reminding yourself....If he calls you, [or drops some LAME asz CD of in your mailbox[ it's not because he left his W and wants to be with you....it's not because he loves you and can't live without you....it's not because he's so hurt and so concerned about your well-being. He's calling because he's selfish. He's calling to get his fix. He's calling to see if you still want him. He's calling because he doesn't respect you enough to let you live your life and find someone who will give you everything you deserve. He's calling b/c something's missing in his M and you were the filler." HE WANTS YOU TO BE THE FILLER!!!! Doesn't that SUCK?! He doesn't want to offer you the world! Just some dark and disgusting corner of it, tucked away - he wants a dirty little secret and that's YOU.

Some freaking friend! Are you kidding me?!

And the second from Lynns lovely post today:

"Love is not lies, love is not hurting, love is not hanging onto the next meet up or next text message, love is not hurting your family by being so consumed by your addiction that your not there even when you are physically there. Love is not trying to be something you are not just to try and please your A partner. Love is not having to do sexual things with your A partner that you would never do before just to keep him happy. Love is not having to settle for crumbs. Love is not the roller coaster ride that is an A."

My xAP would do the same kinda random stuff, same goes for others on this board - YOU NEED TO SNAP OUT OF IT AND SEE HIS ACTIONS FOR WHAT THEY WERE!!!

TU.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2009
Fri, 01-07-2011 - 10:18pm

wow, this guy is very slick and knows exactly what to do to prey upon your emotions.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2010
Fri, 01-07-2011 - 11:24pm

Lovely lovely women....I am reading and rereading your posts to me again. I read Iddy's outloud and even though I don't know her voice, I could hear hers LOUD AND CLEAR and it was AMAZING. Please don't worry. I'm not gonna break NC or think "Yippee he loves me" and run off trying to see him. Not at all! I am past that point. I am moving forward. This was a minor set back and actually...not even that. It was a moment of "wow is he for real? He actually did that?" and yes, he certainly knows how to get me because he knows me well. BUT I'M NOT TAKING THE BAIT. I WON'T RESPOND TO THIS AT ALL.

Love, Sunshine Dedicated to living my new life with integrity, truth and positive thoughts! I am worthy of true love and definitely worth the wait!

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