FREAKING OUT-HELP!
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| Wed, 07-14-2010 - 2:08pm |
Sorry to sound so alarmist, but i am really freaking out right now.
My PCP called to tell me that i have had an abnormal pap test and need to see an obgyn for additional testing. my first thought: my AP gave me HPV, which will turn into warts, which means i'll have to tell my H, which means he'll divorce me, which means i'll be alone and miserable.
i'm trying to fight that downward spiral by reminding myself that many women have abnormal paps that turn out to be nothing, the chances of having HPV are minimal, that it often takes years for healthy cells to turn problematic therefore i may not have gotten it from AP at all, etc. my rational brain is on overload trying to fight my emotional brain. i'm so scared to tell H that the test even came back weird, bc i know his brain is going to go to the place of, "she cheated and got a disease". but then again, keeping this to myself is really hard as well.
my plan right now is that i have an appt with the obgyn next week, and am not going to tell anybody until after the appt. so im stewing, between now and next tuesday. AIERFAUFIOJAWEFLJ!!
ok, thanks for reading. any support or advice is appreciated :)

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and here comes in the inevitable next question--do i tell xAP?
i know for a fact that he will be amazingly supportive and sweet. but it could all be for naught...im just thinking about how men are carriers and that if he DID unwittingly transmit a strain of HPV to me, he should know, right?
ok i think i just had a conversation with myself--i owe H a lot more than i owe AP. i will tell AP after the tests are done and only if there is something important to share.
as for H, still haven't told him. i am going to wait till the weekend, bc i want to be in a calmer mood when i tell him.
thanks for reading my monologue :)
Oh, hell no. never. not for any reason. ever.
You don't have aids and nothing else you have (or don't have, as Im sure the case will be) will affect x or his w. Besides, anything you have (or DON'T) he gave to YOU, not the other way around... his w has already been exposed. Nothing you can do about that.
Are you fishing for a reason to have 'sweet and supportive' contact with X?? Let your H do that for you, if he will. And, if he won't, call your mother or bestie for it.... NOT X.
Dee
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
Dee and Luvin are right - and you know they are. XAP doesn't need to know anything. Everything is going to be OK - and you need to look to your H for support regardless.
As everyone has posted, I've had abnormal cells too. And if something would have been wrong, I would have gone through it completely alone. XAP wouldn't have been able to be there. His W had a lump scare a year ago, and if she would have had to undergo surgery, he would have been there for her. That's the name of the game. Blech.
Bodhi
Awwwww HELLLLLLL NO!!! Dont tell him. And thats said with finger snap and head roll!!!
He didnt keep his junk in his trunk before you so he is very likely to be symptom free.
GMLB
E8,
You have gotten a lot of good advice so I won’ t rehash what others have said.
I read in another forum that there is an agency that will notify others for you if you test positive for an STD.
Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.
Oh, oh!!! Me, too! FINGER SNAP AND HEAD ROLL!!!!
and an incredulous squinchy face, too!
Dee
I hope all of those deleted messages were because they went against TOS and were reported, and NOT
~Iddy~
Thanks, lastwk. I kind of figured that is what happened. Thanks for filling me in.
BTW, so glad you are around and thanks for all the support you've offering.
((Hugs))
~Iddy~
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