Free & Posie, a question
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Free & Posie, a question
| Fri, 11-05-2004 - 12:05pm |
I'm directing this to you two, not because I don't think anyone else can answer it, but because I know you've both been out of your A.'s for a long time and seem like you've really got it together. I've decided to end it, this time hopefully for good. I realized this morning that I will NEVER get the things i want from him, ever. What I wanted to ask was-so much of my involvement with him is that he boosts my very low self esteem- he admires both my body and my mind and while my husband does too, it just feels differnt coming from him. How do you increase your self esteem in a healthy way? Funny, I asked my therapist this years ago and she didn't really have an answer for me. I think if I could feel good about myself, I wouldn't need him anymore but I don't know where to start.

Ask yourself this question:-
What part of me needs this man, so that I can feel good about myself?
Once you have that answer, you have something with which to begin work.
Wishing you strength & peace,
Posie
I think you have to take a good hard look at yourself and see what it is that spurs your feelings of low self-esteem ,it is going to very with differnt people.
For me it was more then one thing, I grow up in a critical enviroment being told I was stupid then I got a lot more of the same from the spouse, compinsated by eating to much and hiding in the TV before the EGO busting parasite came along.
Eventually I had a enough and started doing small things such as taking collage courses nights, low and behold I topped most of my classes so hey I startred to feel better about me, but was still over weight as our culture measures it, joined a local gym one fall and with some hard work and healthy eating managed to shed some of the weight not all of it but enough so I felt good and looked better to ME, it did not happen over night and I am not done working on me yet.
I think the thing that helped me most WAS TO GET STARTED WORKING ON ME EVERY DAY, YOU FEEL BETTER ABOUT YOU BECAUSE YOUR DOING SOMETHING ABOUT THE PROBLEM NOT BECAUSE YOU HAVE ARRIVED.
Free
Edited 11/5/2004 10:56 pm ET ET by mefreenow