Free..what is about 3 weeks??

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2004
Free..what is about 3 weeks??
4
Thu, 02-03-2005 - 2:49pm

Free

What is is about the 3 week NC hump?? I went 2 weeks and then broke NC and it has been tough getting passed 5 days now. Why do you think 3 weeks is so important??

Thanks

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Thu, 02-03-2005 - 9:55pm

Cap

Most habits are formed or broken/replaced in 21 days, a lot of what we do in affairs is habit, ((((there is also an addictive element, in any addiction if you break it and then go back it is harder to break it the second time it seems to get a deeper hold on you.)))

It is more effective to deal with a habit by finding something to replace it with then simply trying to break it because you leave a void if you do not provide somesort of replacement.

This is not just true for affairs.

Free

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2004
Thu, 02-03-2005 - 10:08pm

Interesting..i do agree that a lot of my A is habit! I will try it. I am better at smaller goals like 21 days... forever is just too much to grasp right now.

Thanks

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2004
Fri, 02-04-2005 - 12:44am

Bria-

I feel like crap right now. I listened for my phone to ring like an obsessive freak. I wasn't strong enough to ignore his email he sent. I read it and it has me wanting to choke him and/or reply. I won't though. Luckily, I have this great friend who knows me and this situation and she talked some sense into me (although she admitted the email was very accurate.) She had me look at my motivation for sending it. Was it to change him? To challenge his way of thinking? My motivation was to hurt, to change. I do not hold that power with my words. He is not mine to fix. I will let this be. I am not the first to get their heart broken in this life, and I won't be the last. I have to accept what is and what isn't and move on.

SS

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2004
Fri, 02-04-2005 - 7:55am

Never realized there was so much behind the word "acceptance". I think that is the hardest thing. I know this is for the best. There are many things i dont miss. But actually acceting he and I are over for good is the worst. I can keep NC for a number of days. Go thru my days. Even can be happy as I plow thru my days but I cant shake MM from my head. I cant help thinnking that one day we will talk. One day we will see each other. But that in itself is a roller coaster.

I wish I had some magic words for us but I dont. I am just trying to trust in what everyone says..that his gets better!

HUGS