Friendship possible or STUPID idea??
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Friendship possible or STUPID idea??
| Wed, 06-09-2004 - 2:27am |
My OM decided things were getting too involved and hot - hard to seperate the feelings from the sex - and his wife was questioning him - so we decided to "just be friends" and said maybe someday when things cooled off we would resume the physical side. I didn't want to stop but I know it is best. I want him like crazy.
We want to be friends still - it works so far but is painful. He is hot and cold - touches me then backs off when I return the touches - just little leg brushes or hand on knee sort of touching. I am taking things so personally too - he does something less than considerate, but not that bad and I just get so angry and upset. I hate to think of giving up our friendship. I lean on him so much and we do things with our children together - they love our adventures and I don't want to take that away. I'm in a foreign country for awhile and this guy has been a lifesaver for me. But he also gives me more than I want to give up - and he told me yesterday that there wasn't anything he wouldn't do to keep our friendship. This hurts and is so confusing.
I keep hoping he'll change his mind and want the physical stuff again - but I do need to work on my marriage.
Can we be friends or is that just plain a stupid idea?
This board brings me to tears sometimes. I am so thankful for it. It really gives me strength to know I am not alone and not the only one hurting like this. Why do we do things to ourselves that are so painful?
Thanks for listening - Lazyone2004
We want to be friends still - it works so far but is painful. He is hot and cold - touches me then backs off when I return the touches - just little leg brushes or hand on knee sort of touching. I am taking things so personally too - he does something less than considerate, but not that bad and I just get so angry and upset. I hate to think of giving up our friendship. I lean on him so much and we do things with our children together - they love our adventures and I don't want to take that away. I'm in a foreign country for awhile and this guy has been a lifesaver for me. But he also gives me more than I want to give up - and he told me yesterday that there wasn't anything he wouldn't do to keep our friendship. This hurts and is so confusing.
I keep hoping he'll change his mind and want the physical stuff again - but I do need to work on my marriage.
Can we be friends or is that just plain a stupid idea?
This board brings me to tears sometimes. I am so thankful for it. It really gives me strength to know I am not alone and not the only one hurting like this. Why do we do things to ourselves that are so painful?
Thanks for listening - Lazyone2004

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For now I will not quit cold turkey - I will wait and see how it goes. I am really trying to gather the strength and courage to do what I need to do - when I figure that out. From the majority of the posts it sounds like friendship is not possible. Yes, I will always want his attention and to know he wants me.
When I started this it was just for a few times - for the experience and now I am so attached to him. We talk all of the time and the best part is that we meet several times a week at a cafe and just sit and talk for hours. Sometimes it is outside in the sun and others it is inside on a big cozy couch. THAT is what I don't want to give up!
Considering how much I still want him though - I know I will have to.
Thanks again for all of the information and support.
I don't know where I'd be without having a board like this.
-Lazy
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